Les Berman Weekly 2-15 Banana Joe. Frontal Attack. Smart Jocks. Olympic Solidarity?

Banana Joe is not banana flavored coffee from the South Pacific. Rather, he is a well pedigreed being that is now worth millions, I think. What a life! He gets a blue ribbon and immediately, his fees increase dramatically. Banana Joe was the winner of the 137th Westminster Dog Show. He is an affenpinscher, and is celebrated everywhere. His real name is Banana Joe V Tani Kazari ,A couple of days ago, his team of owners and trainers actually rang the opening bell at the NYSE.  I have to say this… has the NYSE gone to the dogs?

 

Think about this… briefly. For 137+ years, a group of dog owners have gotten together in different venues to wash, fluff, brush, comb and prance around with their puppies. I will admit that some of the dogs look pretty cool. And then there are the poodles who really do look like they were the welcoming committee at a European bordello – poofie hairdo, impeccable manners, and funny looking handlers. If you have ever watched the show, it’s amazing how many handlers actually resemble their dogs. That’s scary.

 

The handlers escort their wards around the ring on a light leash, sometimes at a walk and sometimes at a run. Then the judge runs his/her hands over the dog, likely checking the muscle mix, and then they grab the dog’s package for some reason. And without gloves. Many dogs. Something strange about that to me.

Picture this in your failing mind. A cat show. Cats on a leash. Cats being led around a ring. Nah.. Can’t possibly happen, but it is a really funny visual.

 

Speaking about dawgs,  I am a big fan of the hot ones. I’ve never experienced the infamous Coney Island species but I am a big fan of the Costco ones. And I think you know  that I like to watch people. And watching people eat a hot dog is interesting, and sometimes, really funny. There are different types.

 

There is the full frontal attack eater. After slapping ketchup, mustard, relish and onions on the dawg, the frontal attack eater seems to admire his creation, and then pulls the concoction towards his mouth, end first, opening the mouth, and chomping down with a look of total bliss.

 

Then there is the smiler. This person loads the bun and slowly chows down from the top and middle. Sort of like wearing a smile. Or playing a harmonica. And I think these guys may win the vote for being the messiest eaters.

 

Of course, then there is the naked eater. Just hot dog. No dressing, no artificial flavors, no disguised taste. The naked eater savors the purity of the beef, the tube steak, the snapper. He takes the hot dog firmly in hand, examines that which he is about to kill, and then, with great savoir faire, nibbles oh so gently at the ends that are protruding from the bun. The remainder is, of course, just a blur.

 

Then there is the mom. The mom has at least one toddler with her, you know, the one that wants food now! Not later ! and makes sure that the mom knows it. So the mom, dutifully, unwraps the hot dog, chops it into bite sized pieces, blows on each individual piece, and allows the toddler to attack with her hands. The mom feeder and eater are the most fun to watch. Many times, the mom eater does exercises while the toddler gorges herself. Watch next time.. watch the mom’s eyes roll around in her head. Several times !

You don’t really have to be a devotee of Costco to be able to identify the various types of dog attackers. They are everywhere. Look for them at an eatery near you.

 

And then there is the hot dog that isn’t. I applaud this guy. Nick Florence, 24, was a starting quarterback at Baylor University and according to the article, he had great numbers and NFL potential.  He had a discussion with his wife, and decided to get his MBA rather than get beaten up by the thugs in the front lines of the NFL. Probably gave up a few million, but so what?!  I knew a kid like that once. He was the goal keeper for the Canadian National Hockey team back in the late 60’s. When Wayne Stephenson was drafted into the NHL to play for Philadelphia, he made sure that he would be able to finish his MBA, and he did. There are other examples of this – like Ken Dryden – who played for the Montreal Canadiens- and became a very successful lawyer. So there are anomalies in every industry, I guess.

 

And in other news in the sports world, those pillars of the Olympic club have decided to eliminate the oldest of all sports – wrestling – from the summer Olympics. But, in a show of solidarity in the old boys club, they decided that they should keep the modern pentathalon. It’s not really important here to discuss the merits of that group of sports, but it is important to say that the son of the late Olympic dictator (oops, did I say that?), Juan Antonio Samaranch, was on the side of the pentathalon. Case closed. Bang the gavel! Wrestling – you’re outta here!!!

 

So, do you need a loan on your portfolio of 100+ single family homes? Or on the acquisition of that apartment building that needs rehab? Call me today 818.305.4695. Or are you ready to buy a new home and need to be pre-approved? Call me818.305.4695. What about the refi you’ve been thinking about? As one person said to me – I’m waiting for the rates to get back above 4% so I can kick myself for not listening to you when they were in the low 3’s. I hope that won’t be you.!

Have a better week!

 

Les

 

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

This is the final set of The Washington Post’s  winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words..
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

 

 

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Les Berman CMC Real Estate Loan Specialist         NMLS ID 227675 Voice: 818.305.4695 Email: les@lesberman.com