The View From The Golden Dome

Views on the week's events plus some of mine.

Les Berman Weekly 11-2 Flushed. Cool Underwear.Mean Woman. Chips Are Up… and so much more..


So the BTA is having a meeting in the next couple of weeks to discuss flushes and water usage. Yes, the Europeans have decided that they are using too much water per flush, and some members are proposing compressed air to assist the disposal. The British Toilet Association is considering new guidelines for disposing of your stuff so as to reduce water consumption. That’s not the humorous item… a toilet association? couldn’t you come up with a different name? Do any of these resonate? The Water Closet Association. CAB – Commode Association of Britain; CRAB – Crapper Association of Britain; PTCIA – Pull the Chain Improvement Association. And of course, the BBC – the British Bureau of Crappers.  I really need a 6 year old to help with the porcelain goddess humor. Do you have someone you can volunteer?

 

Mean – while, a woman in Fargo had planned to hand out candies and letters to kids on Halloween. The letters were telling fat kids that candies weren’t good for them and being overweight was not a healthy lifestyle. Talk about bullying!! When I was a little kid, I would only have received her letters… the bitch ! But we would have done our thing to her house – door bell ringing and then taking off, or if we wanted to be really bad, we would have teepee’d her house. And what’s remarkable is that she publicized her action before the big night. Whattabitch !!

 

But there is good news out there for those of us who cannot find enough junk to eat. Lay’s is announcing that they are coming out with a chocolate covered potato chip. Personally, I think the combination is a little gross, but only because I haven’t tasted one yet. And I will sample them at some point. I just can’t see it,,, sitting in front of the tv with beer and chocochips. I have to guess that they tested the product in several markets with several people. They forgot to ask me… again.

 

In other very important news, a new line of underwear is about to be marketed for both men and women. I would guess that, because women shop more often than do men, the product will be given to men much more frequently. Now, I must admit that I had thought that this type of product should have been invented a long time ago. I know people who should line up for this as soon as it hits the store. A company is coming out with a line of underwear that absorbs passed air, flatulence, aka gas. Any other four letter word would not get past the spam filters 🙂 The product has been developed by a British company. Women can buy Shreddies in briefs, high-leg briefs or shorties, while men can purchase support boxers, adjustable support boxers, hipsters and briefs. I’m sorry but I don’t know when it will hit the store shelves nor do I know what shorties are.. But it will be a very popular gag gift with serious meaning.

 

I used to think school field trips were pretty cool. A group of private school students from the Los Angeles area was on a field trip in Utah’s Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument, an area well known for its fossils. When I was a kid in Winnipeg, I had found a few fossils of spiral snails and other small things. The Legislative Building in Winnipeg is built with limestone blocks. I remember walking around the building and finding the fossils embedded in the limestone. That was absolutely exciting, and would still be today if I went back there.

 

So this kid happens to look under a rock outcropping and sees something that looks like a bone. He went around the other side, picks up  a rock, and finds a skull. It turns out that the kid discovered the smallest, youngest and most complete duck-billed dinosaur of its kind ever found. It took a couple of years to get the permits, and then 1300 hours to chip away the stone from the dinosaur bones. The dino is now on display at the Alf Museum in Claremont, CA. I hope the kid has a statue right next to dino. Or at least a photo and recognition. What a field trip that was ! Lucky guy – so jealous 😉

 

I remember taking my son out to the Santa Monica Mountains a couple of times to do some fossil hunting. I don’t think we found any but as I recall, the Thrifty store had ice cream. A fitting discovery on a hot day I think.

And when you are thinking real estate loans, call me first especially if you are a veteran or a foreign national. The magic number is 818.305.4695.

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED LIVING IN THE SOUTH….

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you’re two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.

“Backwards and forwards” means I know everything about you.

The word “jeet” is actually a phrase meaning ‘Did you eat?’

You don’t have to wear a watch, because it doesn’t matter what time it is, you work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see.

You don’t PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

“Ya’ll” is singular; “All ya’ll” is plural.

 

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 Les Berman CMC
        Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
NMLS ID 227675
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com
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November 19, 2013 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, medicine, stuff, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 10-26 Bitching & Complaining Day, Ben Franklin, Jersey (Island), Neanderthals and much much more…


Coming soon to a house familiar to you is the North American Bitching and Complaining About Sleep Day. Actually, we may even call it an international day, just for fun.. or not. Daylight saving time will go away for another year. If you’re on top of things and have world clocks, you are going to have a lot of fun.

 

If you’re in Beirut, Ittoqqortoormiiot, Torshavn, Andorra La Vella, Paris, Podgorica, Jerusalem, or anywhere else in or near Europe, you are changing your clocks today, in your time zone. I know you’re curious about time changes, so let’s start with the guy on the 100, Ben Franklin. When he was in Paris in 1784, he wrote an essay entitled “An Economical Project for Diminishing the Cost of Light”: he was all about saving candles by using morning sunlight. Apparently his essay did not get a passing grade but they put him on the $100 bill anyway.

 

Then there was a New Zealander (aka Kiwi) who got into the back files of the library, likely found Franklin’s essay, and in 1895, proposed the same thing, except revised for New Zealand use, to the Wellington Philosophical Society. For those who are geographically challenged, Wellington is in New Zealand. And if you don’t know where New Zealand might be (No – nowhere near Old Zealand), you might be, according to Bill Engvall, a redneck !

 

Anyway, the concept of DST did not gain much traction until Kaiser Wilhelm figured out that there could be fuel savings. And once the Germans changed, the British and other countries on both sides of the trenches immediately followed suit. That includes the USA. But it went away after WWI until FDR brought in War Time, a permanent change from 1942 until the end of that war in 1945.

 

At this point in time, no one really cared about the rest of the world, (as demonstrated by the total lack of geographical awareness by most Americans under age 62), and the US allowed random time changes around the country. So cities, states, trains and buses all decided which time standard they would follow, and yes, people missed their connections frequently. And no, it really was your fault for not knowing that you changed time zones when you crossed the street. You couldn’t complain, sue, or shoot anyone.

 

So finally, Congress, in the days when they actually cooperated, established the Uniform Time Act of 1966 to be followed by the Energy Policy Act of 2005. Well, it sort of helped because states could opt out at will. So Hawaii and most of Arizona found will, and opted out of DST. So now you know why you may be complaining next week when the US and Canada do the spring forward, fall back thing, or, as is said in other countries (of which there are many for those of you who are geographically challenged), push the clocks forward, gain an hour here, shift the clocks etc. But I want to leave you with this final comment. Stop complaining and do what Congress has ordered you to do !!

 

Meanwhile, across the land and over the pond, back towards an ancestral homeland (for some) in England, and the island of Jersey,(aka Old Jersey)  the only known late Neanderthal remains in northwestern Europe have been rediscovered. Although excavations in the area had begun back in 1910, I think they were covered up because it may have started another war. My theory is that because Jersey is so close to Normandy, France, that the people who found these remains, were getting ready to prove that Neanderthal descendants were still alive and well in France.

 

Of course, for those of you who know about the great love between the French and the English, you would know that it would have started with words, and would have ended up with an invasion of sorts. Can you imagine the effect on England if that had happened? Excellent Cuisine. More rudeness. Better dental hygiene. And being able to drive on the right side of the street. But there would not have been a resolution on the existence of Neanderthals because I believe they are present on both sides of the Channel and possibly even in Loch Ness !

 

Need money for a critical real estate acquisition, commercial or residential? Call me today at 818.305.4695.

Have a better week !

Les

 

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

Things I have learned from visiting the South

.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!

“Jawl-P?” means “Did y’all go to the bathroom?”

People actually grow, eat, and like okra.

Fixinto is one word. It means I’m fixing to do that.

There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper

 

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 Les Berman CMC
       Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
NMLS ID 227675
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

November 12, 2013 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, stuff | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment