The View From The Golden Dome

Views on the week's events plus some of mine.

Les Berman Weekly #473 Routines. Revolutionary. Storm Chasers? Lions and so much more…


I was wondering how my routines started. I know that I can put my pants on one leg at a time because I’ve tried several times over the years to jump into them – and I could never make it work. I guess I could do it if I was to lie on my back and do it that way, but that’s cheating. Think about it – change your routine. See how strange you’ll feel and laugh.

The next routine to change is the way you brush your teeth. Start at the other side of your mouth and don’t give up. Start laughing. What an amazing way to start your day. Changing your routine and laughing. And what else can you do… and because it’s routine, you don’t even think about it. Going for a walk – start with the other foot. When you step off the curb, use the other foot. Use the other hand when you’re holding your water glass, or beer. At your favorite restaurant, you know, the one where you order the same thing every time – order something different.

All of this sounds totally revolutionary. But think about it. You’ve been doing the same thing, the same way for as long as you can remember. And odds are that your kids learned their habits from you. That’s scary ! You cloned someone ! (And they said it couldn’t be done.)

And consider all of the other routines that we ignore. Watch mama duck with ducklings – they all follow diligently, whether it’s in the water, or in single file, crossing the road, holding up traffic. Of course, then everyone with a camera jumps out of their cars to take a photo. How cute ! All those people jumping out of their cars. Routine. The better photo would have been of all those people taking the photo of the ducks.

Recently, I received an email with the obligatory photos attached – of four legged animals. A pride of lions basking in the sun – on an asphalt road with traffic backed up both ways. Interestingly, to me anyway, was that there weren’t any people outside their cars lining up to take photos. I wonder why the habit didn’t take over. Actually, I figured it out quickly. Get the photo and get eaten, but get the photo at any cost? Cowards 🙂

And then there are the storm chasers. What’s that about? How close can I get before I’m sucked up into the tornado? Duh.. I guess that was too close, he says, going in circles. Let a camera get sucked up, stick a homing device on it, and see what happens. You can find it after. Much more logical I think.

While we’re on death wishes vs fun, how about those people who jump off mountains and have winged suits on. They fly down the mountain at immense speed, and then land, if they can, in a serene valley, five minutes later. All of the people on their support team are really excited; the videos are really amazing; the occasional impact and bouncing off the rocks, well, they are never shown. I think they should be shown. That could be really cool. A modern day saga of Humpty Dumpty. Except now, all of the Kings Horses and All of the Kings Men would be ambulances, paramedics, surgical teams, and funeral directors. Now THAT would be an amazing reality show.

And to me, one of the best reality shows just ended. The Olympics. And NBC continues to abuse the American public by delaying events for twelve hours or more. And the public will watch to see the skiers tumble, the ice skaters fall, the bobsleds crash, and the American hockey teams get beaten, again, by the Canadians. But, the hockey games were shown in real time – I guess the public demanded it and got what they asked for. Twice.

Remember that there is a simple beginning step if you need money to expand or purchase a business; or to get a mortgage to refinance or acquire a new home. The magic number is, (musical fanfare please!)  818.305.4695 !!

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don’t really give a rat’s a** anymore.

..If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.
.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while
.. A tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.

And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.

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 Les Berman CMC
      Business and Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
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Email: les@lesberman.com

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April 26, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, real estate, small business, sports, stuff, Uncategorized, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 4-13 Olympics. Doping. Spelling Bee. Easy Math. And Factoids.


SO… there’s a lot that has happened in the last week. Did you know that the Summer Olympics are coming up in a couple of years – 2016? If you care. But for the record, they are being held in Brazil, and if it’s anything like Carnaval, it’s going to be quite the event. However, the Olympic Committee, in their great wisdom, eliminates sports from time to time, and substitutes them with others.

The sports headed for the scrap heap, in the 2020 Games, currently are baseball and softball, and wrestling. Baseball is likely being eliminated because too few countries play the game and the US always wins (I think). Wrestling is being eliminated, I think, because the eastern bloc countries frequently won the golds, and were caught up in a huge doping situation in the last two Olympics. My question, especially as it relates to wrestling, is why eliminate a sport that was around in the original Olympics and definitely since the beginning of the modern games in 1896.

 

It is easy to keep wrestling in the games – just penalize the countries that were doping in the last two Olympics, and restrict their participation in that sport for the next Games. But wrestling is now considered a fringe sport. And it must compete with other contenders for space in the 28 sports. And here they  are – the contendas (pronounce it with a Brooklyn accent) – it must compete with seven other contenders — baseball and softball, squash, karate, wakeboarding, sport climbing, roller sports and the martial art of wushu.

 

Now I don’t know much about wakeboarding. I wonder if it’s a relative of waterboarding? If so, it will be very popular (but is the winner also the loser?). Then there is sport climbing – give me a break. Roller sports – that could be fun. A sophisticated roller derby perhaps. And then there is wushu. Is that served with broccoli and ginger sauce? I don’t know – never heard of it.

 

I would like to propose a couple of other options. Some of these might be unique to North America, but perhaps not. How about remote control channel changing? The first set would be with batteries. The second set would be without batteries and without assistance from the family. And the contestants would all be positioned in a well worn sagging Archie Bunker type chair.

 

I think two other games to consider would be tiddlywinks, and pickup sticks. The cheating scandalwould be with secretly weighted tokens in each game. And extra couple of grams could make the difference ! Bottom line is that the Olympic Committee, in my opinion, will do whatever is more beneficial for their own, how should I say this, hmmm.. bank accounts !

 

In other stunning news, the Scripps National Spelling Bee contest has brought in a change to their format. I looked up some of the winning words from the past, and decided that a couple of the easiest words since the contest began were knack (1932), therapy (1940), and initials (1941). Of course, at the other end of the spectrum are words like eudaemonic (1960), esquamulose (1962), staphylococci (1987), chiaroscurist (1998), autochthonous (2004), appoggiatura (2005), cymotrichous (2011) and guetapens (2012). ( I hope I typed those correctly.)

 

I can’t even pronounce the post 1960 words and for sure, I don’t know what they mean. Now, the kids are being tested on vocabulary too. C’mon, did we ever care what words meant when we used them. If it turned out that the word we used was a “bad” word, our parents definitely made sure we knew about it. Shock ! Awe! Warnings and then spankings.  Of course, then we would say it quietly on the school ground. Our friends would ask what the word meant, and we would say that we didn’t know, but we got whupped for using it. And it became a stealth word ! So how are these kids supposed to put these words in their vocabulary. They are eighth graders  – or younger. Hmmm.. they are going to walk around and say something like – yesterday, the esquamulose crept up behind the autochthonus and beat it on the head with a guetapens. And they will win the contest. Please Scripps, eliminate the vocabulary section and do your part to keep the country dumb !

Here’s something I just read about – and you likely didn’t know this either. Aren’t I a wonderful font of information today?

 

Sometimes you need a math problem solved and you don’t have your calculator handy. If you open up Google, you can put math problems right in the search bar and it will give you the solution! It gives you the answers for very simple equations like addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division, but it also gives the answer for very complicated math problems like calculus or trigonometry. Wow !!

Because Google seems to have an answer for everything, it has become a very valuable resource. That’s exactly what I want to be for YOU with all your housing and financing needs. Call me today at 818.305.4695. I have a huge menu – residential purchase and refinance loans, bridge loans on commercial, multifamily, industrial properties, and even on zoned land . The phone is the magic device. Try it today . 818.305.4695.

Have a better week !

Les

 

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone these days. No one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

 

 

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 Les Berman CMC
Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
NMLS ID 227675
Voice: 818.305.4695

April 14, 2013 Posted by | fun, general interest, real estate, sports | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 2-15 Banana Joe. Frontal Attack. Smart Jocks. Olympic Solidarity?


Banana Joe is not banana flavored coffee from the South Pacific. Rather, he is a well pedigreed being that is now worth millions, I think. What a life! He gets a blue ribbon and immediately, his fees increase dramatically. Banana Joe was the winner of the 137th Westminster Dog Show. He is an affenpinscher, and is celebrated everywhere. His real name is Banana Joe V Tani Kazari ,A couple of days ago, his team of owners and trainers actually rang the opening bell at the NYSE.  I have to say this… has the NYSE gone to the dogs?

 

Think about this… briefly. For 137+ years, a group of dog owners have gotten together in different venues to wash, fluff, brush, comb and prance around with their puppies. I will admit that some of the dogs look pretty cool. And then there are the poodles who really do look like they were the welcoming committee at a European bordello – poofie hairdo, impeccable manners, and funny looking handlers. If you have ever watched the show, it’s amazing how many handlers actually resemble their dogs. That’s scary.

 

The handlers escort their wards around the ring on a light leash, sometimes at a walk and sometimes at a run. Then the judge runs his/her hands over the dog, likely checking the muscle mix, and then they grab the dog’s package for some reason. And without gloves. Many dogs. Something strange about that to me.

Picture this in your failing mind. A cat show. Cats on a leash. Cats being led around a ring. Nah.. Can’t possibly happen, but it is a really funny visual.

 

Speaking about dawgs,  I am a big fan of the hot ones. I’ve never experienced the infamous Coney Island species but I am a big fan of the Costco ones. And I think you know  that I like to watch people. And watching people eat a hot dog is interesting, and sometimes, really funny. There are different types.

 

There is the full frontal attack eater. After slapping ketchup, mustard, relish and onions on the dawg, the frontal attack eater seems to admire his creation, and then pulls the concoction towards his mouth, end first, opening the mouth, and chomping down with a look of total bliss.

 

Then there is the smiler. This person loads the bun and slowly chows down from the top and middle. Sort of like wearing a smile. Or playing a harmonica. And I think these guys may win the vote for being the messiest eaters.

 

Of course, then there is the naked eater. Just hot dog. No dressing, no artificial flavors, no disguised taste. The naked eater savors the purity of the beef, the tube steak, the snapper. He takes the hot dog firmly in hand, examines that which he is about to kill, and then, with great savoir faire, nibbles oh so gently at the ends that are protruding from the bun. The remainder is, of course, just a blur.

 

Then there is the mom. The mom has at least one toddler with her, you know, the one that wants food now! Not later ! and makes sure that the mom knows it. So the mom, dutifully, unwraps the hot dog, chops it into bite sized pieces, blows on each individual piece, and allows the toddler to attack with her hands. The mom feeder and eater are the most fun to watch. Many times, the mom eater does exercises while the toddler gorges herself. Watch next time.. watch the mom’s eyes roll around in her head. Several times !

You don’t really have to be a devotee of Costco to be able to identify the various types of dog attackers. They are everywhere. Look for them at an eatery near you.

 

And then there is the hot dog that isn’t. I applaud this guy. Nick Florence, 24, was a starting quarterback at Baylor University and according to the article, he had great numbers and NFL potential.  He had a discussion with his wife, and decided to get his MBA rather than get beaten up by the thugs in the front lines of the NFL. Probably gave up a few million, but so what?!  I knew a kid like that once. He was the goal keeper for the Canadian National Hockey team back in the late 60’s. When Wayne Stephenson was drafted into the NHL to play for Philadelphia, he made sure that he would be able to finish his MBA, and he did. There are other examples of this – like Ken Dryden – who played for the Montreal Canadiens- and became a very successful lawyer. So there are anomalies in every industry, I guess.

 

And in other news in the sports world, those pillars of the Olympic club have decided to eliminate the oldest of all sports – wrestling – from the summer Olympics. But, in a show of solidarity in the old boys club, they decided that they should keep the modern pentathalon. It’s not really important here to discuss the merits of that group of sports, but it is important to say that the son of the late Olympic dictator (oops, did I say that?), Juan Antonio Samaranch, was on the side of the pentathalon. Case closed. Bang the gavel! Wrestling – you’re outta here!!!

 

So, do you need a loan on your portfolio of 100+ single family homes? Or on the acquisition of that apartment building that needs rehab? Call me today 818.305.4695. Or are you ready to buy a new home and need to be pre-approved? Call me818.305.4695. What about the refi you’ve been thinking about? As one person said to me – I’m waiting for the rates to get back above 4% so I can kick myself for not listening to you when they were in the low 3’s. I hope that won’t be you.!

Have a better week!

 

Les

 

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

This is the final set of The Washington Post’s  winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words..
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

 

 

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 Les Berman CMC
Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
NMLS ID 227675
Voice: 818.305.4695

February 16, 2013 Posted by | business, general interest, real estate, sports | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment