The View From The Golden Dome

Views on the week's events plus some of mine.

Les Berman Weekly 2-1 Phil. Stupor. Mistakes – Big Ones. Waxy Ears…. and so much more….


Here we are at the beginning of February 2014. I keep wondering how I got here, and how my kids got to be so old. I haven’t aged a bit – but they sure have !!

 

And it being the beginning of February, we also have the celebration, or not, of the Groundhog, good ole’ Punxsutawney Phil. Now personally, I don’t really care if Phil wakes up for the party and sees his shadow or not. But it might be a lot more entertaining than spending six hours in a comatose state, watching the Stupor Bowl and every bit of analysis, right down to, and including, the minute by minute temperature gauge.

 

Of course, for the last 21 years, the best part of the 2/2 celebration has been the TV repeats of the Bill Murray, Andie McDowell movie – Groundhog Day. I don’t know how women feel about the movie, but for most guys, it’s about achieving the perfection that is needed to make that great connection with the great woman. I know that all of us realize how many hundreds, thousands , or tens of thousands of mistakes we made when trying to achieve. And of course, as time goes on, our memories dwell on that ideal person, who is still the same age in our minds, as she was back when we made all those grievous errors.

 

And then the married guys reflect on the magnitude of a mistake, or supposed mistake, that their spouse blew so far out of  proportion, that it made the Civil War civil in comparison. Of course, the person who committed the grievous crime, knows that their spouse or significant other did not understand the intent of their gesture and did not admit, when it was explained, how minor the transgression was. It did create a minor increase in the economy because you paid for more flowers, counseling, a new diamond ring, and a new car. You did realize that was far less expensive than what you really wanted – a divorce !

 

I remember some of my better errors throughout history, and some that I heard that others perpetrated. One of mine was forgetting the name of my date. That was sort of embarrassing but I got bailed out when someone called her by name. And I think that was on New Year’s Eve. Or a guy who forgot he had a date. The girl decided that she liked the guy enough that she went to his house and rang the bell. He had no idea he had a date scheduled but went out anyway. They got married a few years later.

 

And then there was the time that I said something that I shouldn’t have. Took me a while to cure that one. Or the time when I wasn’t driving yet, and a girl asked if my prior night’s date had been cold. Now women speak a different language. I interpreted the word one way, and she, of course, meant it literally. So my answer, needless to say, was wrong!

I wonder if we of the male species, get into as much trouble by saying yes. Have to think about that.

 

And back to the things we didn’t know about a year ago. Yes, many of them we really don’t care about but you will read them anyway! Commonly used words on Facebook indicate gender, age, and some personality traits. Women will use “excited” a lot whereas guys tend to take the easy way and just swear. The moon is about 100 million years younger than previously thought. Uhh – I don’t care ! And there are species of a mouse in Costa Rica that just sing to protect their territories. I guess if one of them were to win American Idol….

 

Some monkeys lower their voices to keep others from hearing what they are saying. Did they learn that from people or vice versa? Four new species of legless lizards were found near LAX around the oil derricks. Think of all the questions that would arise from that discovery – like, are you sure it isn’t a snake? The Earth will be habitable for another 1.75 billion years (+/-) but I think life forms might be a little different after some idiot unleashes the big nuke. The waxy buildup inside the ears of dead whales are an indication of how much pollution they have been exposed to. HA ! From the same buildup in my ears, my mother could tell me how long it had been since I washed, and she was probably right !

 

And finally, for today, a reminder that if you need money for your business, business real estate, or any other real estate, the magic number is 818.305.4695 !

Have a better week!

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

Save the earth….. It’s the only planet with chocolate!*

 

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 Les Berman CMC
      Business and Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

 

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February 24, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, medicine, real estate, sports, stuff, Uncategorized, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 1-25 Scandalous. Sugar. Asteroids and Elephants… and So Much More !!


It’s absolutely scandalous. My vision, or perhaps hallucination, has been destroyed. I just learned that legions of Girl Scouts do not, and have not made, the legendary Girl Scout cookies since pre-historic days. They are, in fact, made by Little Brownie Bakers, a subsidiary of… ready.. Keebler and by ABC Bakers, a George Weston company.

 

And for all these years, I had these crazy visions of Girls Scouts (GS) , in a long line, cutting, and shaping, and forming all of those varieties of cookies. I thought that Lucy and Ethel got that job on the chocolate candy conveyor because they wanted to emulate the Girl Scouts. Now, I have to change my head process and envision a bunch of elves running around and doing that job. So disappointed. And I’ll bet someone will tell me that Santa Claus isn’t real either. Or that they found the Titanic at the bottom of the ocean. Or that TinkerBell never forgave Peter ! What else can burst my bubble this week?

 

So let me tell you a few things about Girl Scouts. They do not make cookies. Nothing else matters. The cookies are now free of trans fats, and therefore, don’t taste as good as they did previously. And the GS can decide which bakery they want to use because, the bakeries may make different cookies. And each bakery can give different names to the cookies. I actually found a list of about 40 different types of cookies that have been discontinued.

 

Now there’s something wrong about that. Removing sugar highs from kids? That un-American. It’s heresy. It’s not fair! It’s poor sportsmanship. But really, Thin Mints make up 25% of the total sales, followed by 19% from Caramel deLites (from ABC)/Somoas (from LBB) – so the name for the same cookie depends on the bakery. And the number of cookies per box, which has not only dropped over the years to save money, varies based on where you are in the country! The dark underbelly of the industry… How will each of the GS learn to look after their husbands and treat them the way our grandmothers treated our grandfathers, if they don’t actually bake the cookies. I’m sorry that I had to reveal this truth to you! Buy GS cookies anyway please!

 

I was looking at other things we didn’t know a year ago. How about this one. 2013TV135 is the name of an asteroid that will hit us on April 13, 2036 according to some Ukrainian astronomers. NASA scientists disagree. In 22 years, I’ll be a lot older than I am today, and I probably won’t remember that I wrote this, so please put this in your computer calendar and call me to tell me who was right.

 

Other scientists have determined that all mammals urinate for the same length of time – 22 seconds. They named this the “law of ……” If you are going to time yourself, I don’t want to know.

 

And fossil evidence showed that our friendly Neanderthals used toothpicks. We are not told the name of the brand that they chose.

African elephants are able to understand hand gestures, even if not trained to do so. I wonder how many of them did not understand the gesture for ‘stop’! And what happened to those trainers?

 

And other scientists have decided that birds locate food in the morning but don’t eat it until later in the day. So what’s the deal with the early bird and the worm?

 

Kissing is the ultimate test for a relationship. Well, it’s actually a taste test. I guess non-smokers must have a slight advantage in this contest. The study also said that more kissing increased the quality of the relationship but did not necessarily indicate an increase of the kind of activity that would cause this edition to be blocked as spam !

 

My son-in-law grew up in Brighton and his soccer team is in to round 4 of the English FA Cup. I hope his team wins Saturday !! Go Brighton & Hove Albion Seagulls !!

 

You all saw my announcement a couple of days ago. Business loans are highest on my agenda now. Real estate loans still get done. Ask me how I can help you – anywhere in the country. The magic number remains the same – 818.305.4695.

Have a better week !

 

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
The second mouse gets the cheese.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

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 Les Berman CMC
       SBA and Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

February 17, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, real estate, sports, stuff, Uncategorized, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Les Berman Weekly 1-17 Don’t Understand. Technology. We Didn’t Know…. and much more


There is a constant stream of new things that I don’t know about, or that I don’t understand, or both. I used to think, when I was younger, that my ideal companion would be a really hot woman. As I matured (because I haven’t gotten any older), my ideal companion had become someone who was intelligent (yeah – hot too, but in a different way). Now, my ideal companion would be someone who could show me how all of these new programs work, and that person would likely be about seven years old, with their two front teeth missing or maybe eleven.

 

I would be perfectly happy to supply ice cream and candy as the parents permitted. And maybe even a puppy.

 

The speed of technological development truly amazes me. Kids are coming up with new applications daily, and while many won’t happen, those that do will make substantial changes in the world. I know how Facebook works, and I understand how they make money. Twitter – I don’t get it. Pinterest and instagram – no idea. But then I hear about medical developments that astound me.

 

How about a pill sized camera that you can swallow? It will transmit images of your internal organs as it takes the journey. And I was just talking to someone the other day who is involved in a company that has a hand held device that can be used to detect breast cancer. Imagine a Tupperware type of party where the women are gathered around, and scanning themselves with images being transferred to a computer for reading. So the cost of a breast exam goes from hundreds or thousands of dollars to ten or twenty dollars.

 

I’m looking forward to driverless cars. There are so many people on the freeways that aren’t paying attention anyway, this could make our roads safer. Think about the Jetsons. The futuristic food processing is here (I hope it reaches me a little faster please!), and the little space cars will not be that far off. And for those of you who are old enough to remember Dick Tracy comic strips, the wrist radio is a fact today, as is Maxwell Smart’s secret phone. Or how about the secret weapons from the early James Bond movies. All routine stuff now.

 

Bottom line, I need to borrow a seven year old – or maybe an 11 year old please!

 

So here are a few things that we didn’t know at the beginning in 2012. The morning after pill doesn’t work in woman weighing more than 176 pounds. Being bilingual can delay the onset of dementia by 4.5 years. (I wonder if babbling is a language – for 60 year olds). A group of Neanderthals in what is now Spain, cannibalized neighbors including young children (and stuff like this does hit the News every now and then). Chimpanzees can locate fruit trees and locations going back about three years (no big deal – we can find our own fridges too!) Sixty percent of lice are now super lice and are resistant to current treatments (i don’t worry about that anymore. And that’s another story for another time). Astronomers found a galaxy whose light took 13 billion years to get here. They don’t say how they know how long it took, nor do they say if it still exists. Come back to this blog in 13 billion years for the answer! Eucalyptus trees absorb gold through their roots and is shed through its leaves and bark. A chemical found in chilis does something to our bodies to prevent weight gain. (I don’t believe this because the residents of a country just south of the USA eat a lot of chilis and they have a higher incidence of obesity than do Americans.)

 

Big announcement coming out mid week next week ! Watch your email . It’s a good one. And while you’re waiting, need money? The magic number is  818.305.4695

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

 * Never buy a car you can’t push.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

 

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 Les Berman CMC
       SBA and Real Estate Loan Specialist   
       
NMLS ID 227675
 
Voice: 818.305.4695
 
Email: les@lesberman.com

February 14, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, real estate, sports, stuff, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 1-10 Three More Weeks. Disappearing Things. Kid in the Bottle. and so much more…


It’s started already. I guess that’s ok because it is three weeks away. But how can they start talking about it and postulating when they don’t even know who will be in the Super Bowl? Ok, so the ads will cost about $4 Million per minute. I thought that was interesting especially since I have absolutely no interest in the game itself.

 

I do remember a great Pepsi commercial where the kid sucked himself into the bottle. And the old Budweiser ads – the frogs, ‘wassup’ and others. Of course, the ads with Danica Patrick were very watchable as well. I hope they make me think that their $4 million was well spent, not that they really think what I care because I’m outside the prime demographic now.

 

The former inhabitants of parts of Illinois and Ohio would not care either. But they were sharks – yup, a shark nursery was found in them thar parts. They were so old that neither Lewis nor Clarke found them. However, the scientists who did examine the fossils, somehow determined that the sharks were in nurseries, not day care, but shark nurseries. And sharks still raise their juveniles, aka young snakes, in shark nurseries.

 

As those sharks disappeared, others are postulating about the things that will disappear in our lifetimes. Some say the Post Office is all but history and it will be gone within 30 years. And newspapers too. The younger generations do not read newspapers. Everything is electronic – but they will rue the day that newspapers are gone. After all, what will be used to wrap the fish?

 

Britain is planning to phase out checks by 2018. And when the US follows suit, what will the Post Office deliver, because bills won’t be mailed. I like writing checks. Confuses people today. Books and land line phones will go away. Bookstores are closing now – books come electronically now. And landline phones are virtual antiques now. How about a rotary dial phone sound when it rings? I really can’t remember, can you?

 

I don’t know enough about the music business to comment on that entertainment mode disappearing. There always has been music, and there likely always will be some. But the artists, as we know them, may be replaced by one hit wonders because the industry wants instant success. No one will be given a chance to develop.

 

And with all of this electronic stuff, handwriting as a form of communication will disappear. Most kids can’t write very well anyway. And they don’t write, they text. And spelling – forget it! Grammar has already disappeared. And people can’t tell the difference among their, there and they’re, now. And the last thing that will happen, is that our privacy will be a thing of the past. If you want to take the time, you can usually find out anything about anyone, today!

 

And it was 50 years ago that the warning labels were first put on cigarette packages. Recently, I heard and read a number of 1940’s and 1950’s ads for smokes. Back then, the advertisers could and did say anything they wanted about their products. A survey of all the doctors said they preferred Lucky Strikes. Who ever challenged the companies? Today, if they sneeze the wrong way, a boatload of consumer advocates will threaten litigation, class actions etc. just because. Oh well. C’est la vie !

 

Looking for financing to expand your business? or for real estate? call the Magic Number and we’ll get you moving – with the money… 818.305.4695

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

1 * Accept the fact that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue!

2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4 * Drive carefully… It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5 * If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

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 Les Berman CMC
        Financing Business and Real Estate since 1980
       
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

February 5, 2014 Posted by | business, general interest, humor, real estate, small business, sports, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment