The View From The Golden Dome

Views on the week's events plus some of mine.

Les Berman Weekly 2-15 Fine Dining. Living Long Loving. The Olden Days. And so much more….

The other day, while dining at that fabulous high end restaurant, yes, Costco’s Food Court, I sat at a table with a delightful lady who insisted that I was a kid. And I was ok with that, of course. But when she offered that her daughter was 73, I was shocked, because this lady certainly did not look 95. And she told me that when her husband came to the table, that I was not to mention that she had been married for 77 years, to the same guy. This gentleman was a spry 97, who moved like a 70 year old. And he still works part time.


She told me that his employer thinks he’s only 75 ! When I asked her for the secret of living as long as she has, and in such great shape, she said that she likes to breathe regularly ! And then she says that she married the best guy in the world. After I left, I recalled a conversation I had with a friend several years ago, after my divorce.


Steve asked me how many couples I knew that were as much in love with their spouse as they likely were when they got married. I think that I couldn’t get past six or seven. In the ensuing years, I think I might have been able to add two or three more couples. The rest, we decided, were complacent.


This isn’t a criticism but an observation. And I truly hope that you are one of those special couples, and that your Valentine’s Day was special. And that the couple who have 77 years together, also had a special day.


On the other hand, I was talking to another friend who had made a deal with his wife. They agreed that Valentine’s Day was over rated and that they could have a great dinner a week later. Of course, if you’re in the path of this week’s eastern and southern snow storm, you’re not going anywhere anyway. And I hope you survive the repercussions !


I remember, back in the olden days before cell phones, that there was a snow emergency in Winnipeg, and the emergency broadcast system said that telephones were to be used for emergencies only. I had a date that night so I decided I should call to tell her that I would not make it to pick her up. Her father answered the phone. I asked for his daughter, whose name I can’t remember now, and he said “Are you the police?” uh no. “Is this an emergency” uhhh..”get off the phone” and he hung up. I wonder if his daughter got the hint that I wouldn’t make the date.


I wonder if that was a turning point in my life? Maybe I should have become a cop so I would never have another dad-enforced broken date !

And here are a few more things that we didn’t know about in 2013. For women, smelling a newborn baby feels as good as drugs to addicts or cheeseburgers to those just breaking a fast. I don’t know if the smell is before or after the poop. Maybe it’s just the smell of the powder. But I like babies – until the diapers are loaded. A 10,000 year old mammoth trunk found in Siberia still had enough stuff that could be extracted to get the species going again. Heart disease patients with a positive attitude are more likely to exercise and live longer. The most positive patients exercised more and had a 42 percent less chance of dying during the follow-up period. I hope that I won’t ever be the exception to the rule! The oldest globe of the world dates from around 1500. It was drawn on ostrich eggs. I think it may not be edible !


Wolves howl to bring lost wolves back to the pack and to express the quality of their relationships. Come on – are their wolfpack therapists who figured this out? Give me a break !  Men howl to express their conquests on Saturday night. No therapist required for that knowledge ! Dolphins apparently have a signature sound that identifies them like a name. Scientists don’t know how they get their names. It’s so simple – how do those dweebs miss it ! The dolphin moms simply get the latest waterproof edition of the baby name book. Everyone knows that – now.


If you or someone you know needs money for their business or for a residential mortgage, I am still the guy with the magic number 818.305.4695. Memorize it ! Pass it along ! Make it work for you too !

Have a better week !


Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

“Brevity is the soul of wit.” – Mark Twain.  “Brevity is the soul of lingerie.” – Dorothy Parker

“I didn’t like the play – but then I saw it under adverse conditions — the curtain was up.” – George S. Kaufman

“Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.” – Mark Twain.

“Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little.”  – Gore Vidal

“Liberty is the right to do whatever the law permits.” – Charles Monteiscu

“If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle.” – Rita Mae Brown


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 Les Berman CMC
      Business and Real Estate Loan Specialist
Voice: 818.305.4695



March 15, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, medicine, real estate, small business, sports, stuff, Uncategorized, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 2-15 Banana Joe. Frontal Attack. Smart Jocks. Olympic Solidarity?

Banana Joe is not banana flavored coffee from the South Pacific. Rather, he is a well pedigreed being that is now worth millions, I think. What a life! He gets a blue ribbon and immediately, his fees increase dramatically. Banana Joe was the winner of the 137th Westminster Dog Show. He is an affenpinscher, and is celebrated everywhere. His real name is Banana Joe V Tani Kazari ,A couple of days ago, his team of owners and trainers actually rang the opening bell at the NYSE.  I have to say this… has the NYSE gone to the dogs?


Think about this… briefly. For 137+ years, a group of dog owners have gotten together in different venues to wash, fluff, brush, comb and prance around with their puppies. I will admit that some of the dogs look pretty cool. And then there are the poodles who really do look like they were the welcoming committee at a European bordello – poofie hairdo, impeccable manners, and funny looking handlers. If you have ever watched the show, it’s amazing how many handlers actually resemble their dogs. That’s scary.


The handlers escort their wards around the ring on a light leash, sometimes at a walk and sometimes at a run. Then the judge runs his/her hands over the dog, likely checking the muscle mix, and then they grab the dog’s package for some reason. And without gloves. Many dogs. Something strange about that to me.

Picture this in your failing mind. A cat show. Cats on a leash. Cats being led around a ring. Nah.. Can’t possibly happen, but it is a really funny visual.


Speaking about dawgs,  I am a big fan of the hot ones. I’ve never experienced the infamous Coney Island species but I am a big fan of the Costco ones. And I think you know  that I like to watch people. And watching people eat a hot dog is interesting, and sometimes, really funny. There are different types.


There is the full frontal attack eater. After slapping ketchup, mustard, relish and onions on the dawg, the frontal attack eater seems to admire his creation, and then pulls the concoction towards his mouth, end first, opening the mouth, and chomping down with a look of total bliss.


Then there is the smiler. This person loads the bun and slowly chows down from the top and middle. Sort of like wearing a smile. Or playing a harmonica. And I think these guys may win the vote for being the messiest eaters.


Of course, then there is the naked eater. Just hot dog. No dressing, no artificial flavors, no disguised taste. The naked eater savors the purity of the beef, the tube steak, the snapper. He takes the hot dog firmly in hand, examines that which he is about to kill, and then, with great savoir faire, nibbles oh so gently at the ends that are protruding from the bun. The remainder is, of course, just a blur.


Then there is the mom. The mom has at least one toddler with her, you know, the one that wants food now! Not later ! and makes sure that the mom knows it. So the mom, dutifully, unwraps the hot dog, chops it into bite sized pieces, blows on each individual piece, and allows the toddler to attack with her hands. The mom feeder and eater are the most fun to watch. Many times, the mom eater does exercises while the toddler gorges herself. Watch next time.. watch the mom’s eyes roll around in her head. Several times !

You don’t really have to be a devotee of Costco to be able to identify the various types of dog attackers. They are everywhere. Look for them at an eatery near you.


And then there is the hot dog that isn’t. I applaud this guy. Nick Florence, 24, was a starting quarterback at Baylor University and according to the article, he had great numbers and NFL potential.  He had a discussion with his wife, and decided to get his MBA rather than get beaten up by the thugs in the front lines of the NFL. Probably gave up a few million, but so what?!  I knew a kid like that once. He was the goal keeper for the Canadian National Hockey team back in the late 60’s. When Wayne Stephenson was drafted into the NHL to play for Philadelphia, he made sure that he would be able to finish his MBA, and he did. There are other examples of this – like Ken Dryden – who played for the Montreal Canadiens- and became a very successful lawyer. So there are anomalies in every industry, I guess.


And in other news in the sports world, those pillars of the Olympic club have decided to eliminate the oldest of all sports – wrestling – from the summer Olympics. But, in a show of solidarity in the old boys club, they decided that they should keep the modern pentathalon. It’s not really important here to discuss the merits of that group of sports, but it is important to say that the son of the late Olympic dictator (oops, did I say that?), Juan Antonio Samaranch, was on the side of the pentathalon. Case closed. Bang the gavel! Wrestling – you’re outta here!!!


So, do you need a loan on your portfolio of 100+ single family homes? Or on the acquisition of that apartment building that needs rehab? Call me today 818.305.4695. Or are you ready to buy a new home and need to be pre-approved? Call me818.305.4695. What about the refi you’ve been thinking about? As one person said to me – I’m waiting for the rates to get back above 4% so I can kick myself for not listening to you when they were in the low 3’s. I hope that won’t be you.!

Have a better week!




Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

This is the final set of The Washington Post’s  winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words..
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.



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 Les Berman CMC
Real Estate Loan Specialist
NMLS ID 227675
Voice: 818.305.4695

February 16, 2013 Posted by | business, general interest, real estate, sports | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment