The View From The Golden Dome

Views on the week's events plus some of mine.

Les Berman Weekly #480 Learning. Jeans. Shoes. and Wine… with much much more !!


Every day that I learn something has to be a good day. Recently, a friend told me that she was going shopping with her girlfriend to buy jeans. Now you and I know that jeans are an integral part of everyone’s wardrobe. Male and female.

I bought jeans because they fit and were comfortable, and I needed them comfortable because of the weight I packed on after my knee surgery. And the good news is that those recently purchased jeans will be too big shortly. But you don’t care about my jeans – you want to know about her jeans !

I understand enough of the female psyche to know that women cannot go shopping by themselves. Sort of like women having to go to the restroom in groups. On the restroom trips, do you girls hold hands together over or under stalls? or is it constant conversation that can’t be interrupted? or for some other secret sisterhood rite that can never be disclosed to us mere males?

So what was the purpose of the shopping trip? Apparently the girlfriend’s workplace had decided to have casual Fridays. And the call went out from the girlfriend to help her find jeans that she could actually sit in for most of the day.  Guys !! Stop laughing ! Think about it for a minute. Girlfriend likely had skin tight, can hardly breathe jeans, that highlighted some of her better assets. But she couldn’t sit in them.

Now I love tight jeans on a woman who should wear them. Not so much when they shouldn’t wear them. Fortunately, we males have as many different opinions on who should wear what, as there are males. So I have to be careful. And I don’t know the outcome of the shopping trip because I was not invited to observe and comment !

And another favorite topic, about which I really don’t have an opinion, that matters, is shoes. Women’s shoes. I have friends, mother and daughter, who have lots of shoes. Now I don’t know if they could compete with Imelda for numbers, but that’s not what shoes are about. They told me, in graphic detail, that there are shoes and there are shoes. I learned that they have shoes that are three block shoes. Those are shoes that would kill them if they were to walk three blocks in them. They have shoes that are suitable for long distance walking, with “long distance” having definite boundaries. Vacation walking requires a specific type, as do charity events. And there are definite placement of the shoes in the closet. As for me, a couple of blacks, a couple of browns, a couple of walking and athletic shoes. That’s adequate. There is a difference. Good thing !

Meanwhile, I am less than amazed at yet another discovery that came from an amazing experiment withthat juice of the vine — wine ! As little as one glass of wine is enough to interrupt communication between the amygdala and prefrontal cortex, the two parts of the brain that control behavior. The breakdown could explain the disinhibition, aggression and social withdrawal symptoms associated with being intoxicated. The part that does not amaze me is that I really don’t understand any of those big words in the previous two sentences. I think it means that drinking wine could affect your behavior, and help or cause you to do different things !

The reminder – if you need capital for your business, or anything else, or a mortgage for your home, call this guy.. the guy with the golden dome. Yes, the magic number remains :818.305.4695.

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? (I am so guilty of this one !!)

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? (guilty again!)

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, ‘It’s all right?’ Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, ‘That really hurt, why don’t you watch where you’re going?’

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February 7, 2015 Posted by | fun, general interest, humor, real estate, stuff, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Les Berman Weekly #473 Routines. Revolutionary. Storm Chasers? Lions and so much more…


I was wondering how my routines started. I know that I can put my pants on one leg at a time because I’ve tried several times over the years to jump into them – and I could never make it work. I guess I could do it if I was to lie on my back and do it that way, but that’s cheating. Think about it – change your routine. See how strange you’ll feel and laugh.

The next routine to change is the way you brush your teeth. Start at the other side of your mouth and don’t give up. Start laughing. What an amazing way to start your day. Changing your routine and laughing. And what else can you do… and because it’s routine, you don’t even think about it. Going for a walk – start with the other foot. When you step off the curb, use the other foot. Use the other hand when you’re holding your water glass, or beer. At your favorite restaurant, you know, the one where you order the same thing every time – order something different.

All of this sounds totally revolutionary. But think about it. You’ve been doing the same thing, the same way for as long as you can remember. And odds are that your kids learned their habits from you. That’s scary ! You cloned someone ! (And they said it couldn’t be done.)

And consider all of the other routines that we ignore. Watch mama duck with ducklings – they all follow diligently, whether it’s in the water, or in single file, crossing the road, holding up traffic. Of course, then everyone with a camera jumps out of their cars to take a photo. How cute ! All those people jumping out of their cars. Routine. The better photo would have been of all those people taking the photo of the ducks.

Recently, I received an email with the obligatory photos attached – of four legged animals. A pride of lions basking in the sun – on an asphalt road with traffic backed up both ways. Interestingly, to me anyway, was that there weren’t any people outside their cars lining up to take photos. I wonder why the habit didn’t take over. Actually, I figured it out quickly. Get the photo and get eaten, but get the photo at any cost? Cowards 🙂

And then there are the storm chasers. What’s that about? How close can I get before I’m sucked up into the tornado? Duh.. I guess that was too close, he says, going in circles. Let a camera get sucked up, stick a homing device on it, and see what happens. You can find it after. Much more logical I think.

While we’re on death wishes vs fun, how about those people who jump off mountains and have winged suits on. They fly down the mountain at immense speed, and then land, if they can, in a serene valley, five minutes later. All of the people on their support team are really excited; the videos are really amazing; the occasional impact and bouncing off the rocks, well, they are never shown. I think they should be shown. That could be really cool. A modern day saga of Humpty Dumpty. Except now, all of the Kings Horses and All of the Kings Men would be ambulances, paramedics, surgical teams, and funeral directors. Now THAT would be an amazing reality show.

And to me, one of the best reality shows just ended. The Olympics. And NBC continues to abuse the American public by delaying events for twelve hours or more. And the public will watch to see the skiers tumble, the ice skaters fall, the bobsleds crash, and the American hockey teams get beaten, again, by the Canadians. But, the hockey games were shown in real time – I guess the public demanded it and got what they asked for. Twice.

Remember that there is a simple beginning step if you need money to expand or purchase a business; or to get a mortgage to refinance or acquire a new home. The magic number is, (musical fanfare please!)  818.305.4695 !!

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don’t really give a rat’s a** anymore.

..If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.
.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while
.. A tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.

And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.

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 Les Berman CMC
      Business and Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

April 26, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, real estate, small business, sports, stuff, Uncategorized, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 1-10 Three More Weeks. Disappearing Things. Kid in the Bottle. and so much more…


It’s started already. I guess that’s ok because it is three weeks away. But how can they start talking about it and postulating when they don’t even know who will be in the Super Bowl? Ok, so the ads will cost about $4 Million per minute. I thought that was interesting especially since I have absolutely no interest in the game itself.

 

I do remember a great Pepsi commercial where the kid sucked himself into the bottle. And the old Budweiser ads – the frogs, ‘wassup’ and others. Of course, the ads with Danica Patrick were very watchable as well. I hope they make me think that their $4 million was well spent, not that they really think what I care because I’m outside the prime demographic now.

 

The former inhabitants of parts of Illinois and Ohio would not care either. But they were sharks – yup, a shark nursery was found in them thar parts. They were so old that neither Lewis nor Clarke found them. However, the scientists who did examine the fossils, somehow determined that the sharks were in nurseries, not day care, but shark nurseries. And sharks still raise their juveniles, aka young snakes, in shark nurseries.

 

As those sharks disappeared, others are postulating about the things that will disappear in our lifetimes. Some say the Post Office is all but history and it will be gone within 30 years. And newspapers too. The younger generations do not read newspapers. Everything is electronic – but they will rue the day that newspapers are gone. After all, what will be used to wrap the fish?

 

Britain is planning to phase out checks by 2018. And when the US follows suit, what will the Post Office deliver, because bills won’t be mailed. I like writing checks. Confuses people today. Books and land line phones will go away. Bookstores are closing now – books come electronically now. And landline phones are virtual antiques now. How about a rotary dial phone sound when it rings? I really can’t remember, can you?

 

I don’t know enough about the music business to comment on that entertainment mode disappearing. There always has been music, and there likely always will be some. But the artists, as we know them, may be replaced by one hit wonders because the industry wants instant success. No one will be given a chance to develop.

 

And with all of this electronic stuff, handwriting as a form of communication will disappear. Most kids can’t write very well anyway. And they don’t write, they text. And spelling – forget it! Grammar has already disappeared. And people can’t tell the difference among their, there and they’re, now. And the last thing that will happen, is that our privacy will be a thing of the past. If you want to take the time, you can usually find out anything about anyone, today!

 

And it was 50 years ago that the warning labels were first put on cigarette packages. Recently, I heard and read a number of 1940’s and 1950’s ads for smokes. Back then, the advertisers could and did say anything they wanted about their products. A survey of all the doctors said they preferred Lucky Strikes. Who ever challenged the companies? Today, if they sneeze the wrong way, a boatload of consumer advocates will threaten litigation, class actions etc. just because. Oh well. C’est la vie !

 

Looking for financing to expand your business? or for real estate? call the Magic Number and we’ll get you moving – with the money… 818.305.4695

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

1 * Accept the fact that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue!

2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4 * Drive carefully… It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5 * If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

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 Les Berman CMC
        Financing Business and Real Estate since 1980
       
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

February 5, 2014 Posted by | business, general interest, humor, real estate, small business, sports, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 1-4 Census or Senseless. WWII Numbers. Colorado jobs. Turing.. and much much more


Some days, I just have no idea what to write about, and fortunately the Census Bureau, sensing that, came to the rescue. The U.S. Census Bureau projected that on Jan. 1, 2014, the United States population was 317,297,938. This represents an increase of 2,218,622, or 0.7 percent, from NY Day 2013. In January 2014, one birth is expected to occur every 8 seconds in the United States and one death every 12 seconds. The projected world population on Jan. 1, 2014, is 7,137,577,750, an increase of 77,630,563, or 1.1 percent from New Year’s Day 2013. In January 2014, 4.3 births and 1.8 deaths are expected worldwide every second. India added 15.6 million people over the one-year period, which led all countries, followed by China, Nigeria, Pakistan Ethiopia, and North Dakota (just seeing if you’re reading this).

 

Since we’re playing with numbers, I think that those numbers that demonstrate the resilience and the strength of the American worker are amazing. When it’s crunch time, no one can be as efficient or productive as the people who know they are being relied upon by so many others to step up to the plate. And it’s this kind of productivity that will return the U.S. economy to its leadership position in the world. Consider the following:

 

During the 3-1/2 years of World War II that started with the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor in December 1941 and ended with the surrender of Germany and Japan in 1945, the U.S. produced 22 aircraft carriers, 8 battleships, 48 cruisers, 349 destroyers, 420 destroyer escorts, 203 submarines, 34 million tons of merchant ships, 100,000 fighter aircraft, 98,000 bombers, 24,000 transport aircraft, 58,000 training aircraft, 93,000 tanks, 257,000 artillery pieces, 105,000 mortars, 3,000,000 machine guns, and 2,500,000 military trucks. We put 16.1 million men in uniform in the various armed services, invaded Africa, invaded Sicily and Italy, won the battle for the Atlantic, planned and executed D-Day, marched across the Pacific and Europe, developed the atomic bomb and ultimately conquered Japan and Germany. (Yes, WW2 actually began in 1939 but US direct involvement did not begin until Pearl Harbor. The US had been manufacturing armaments for the Canadians and British since 1939 at least).

 

Production is coming back to the USA, albeit slowly. And it’s happening because of the efficiency of the American worker. Admittedly, a lot of production will never come back to our shores, but more jobs are coming back every month. And American ingenuity creates even more opportunities.

 

Colorado can be the beneficiary of 100,000 jobs, and generate about $67 Million in tax revenue because the people voted to legalize recreational use of marijuana. California is apparently considering a ballot measure in 2016. I wonder if the ‘holier than thou’ negative campaigners will be at the front of the line to take some of the tax revenue generated when the measure passes. I would bet that they will be there with their hands out, arguing for a bigger slice of what could be a billion dollar tax pie. And I wonder if a  union will try to organize these agricultural workers.

 

Meanwhile, the Brits are finally recognizing the work of Alan Turing. Alan Turing is credited with cracking Nazi Germany’s Enigma code, in the process shortening World War Two, and saving countless lives. He was also a mathematical genius, the father of the modern computer and much of his ground-breaking work was conducted at the University of Manchester. The Brits of the day did not approve of his relationship with another male. What they did to him would be called torture today, and ended in Turings suicide. Google his name for details – it will shock you !

 

Need financing for your real estate, or business? The magic number is still 818.305.4695.

Have a better week !

Les

 

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
A calendar’s days are numbered.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.

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 Les Berman CMC
       Financing Businesses and Real Estate for 35+ years
       
NMLS ID 227675
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

January 30, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, medicine, real estate, small business, sports, stuff, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 12-14 Hold Please. Traffic. PISA. Titan. Buddha and so much more…


So, I had to get some information from a government agency. At best, that’s a daunting task, as you know. I called the 800 number and was given a pretty complete menu of options, none of which could answer my question, and there wasn’t an option at any time of speaking to a live person. I gave myself a couple of options… hang up, guess at the answer, or press 0 and see if I get booted out of the system. I pressed 0, and got in a queue that they said was 31 minutes. And all of this for an answer that would take less than one minute. And I was on hold for 63 minutes – because I needed the answer to the question.

I made an amazing discovery about Los Angeles traffic. During the week, it’s very light at 6 AM. The corresponding discovery was that I really don’t like having to be somewhere at 630 AM. Especially because it’s still dark and cold.

I’ve learned other things lately. The PISA, (not pizza) rankings came out recently and scored students in 65 countries on different skills – math, science, and reading. Asian countries took the first seven slots in math. The highest ranking western country was not the USA (#36) nor was it Canada (#13) or the UK (#26), but it was Lichtenstein. And I would bet that most of my readers could not find that country on a map. Geography was not part of the testing.

In reading, the highest scoring western country was Finland (#6) and the first five slots were Asian countries. This testing was done on 15 and 16 year old students. Canada was #9 and the USA was #24. And in science, the highest scoring western country was again Finland #5, Canada in 10th spot and the USA was at #28, with Asian countries all taking the top spots.

These statistics are worthy of mention because concerned parents in the US will gravitate towards charter schools, and the stronger demands made on the students. Eventually, parents will realize that homework, actually completed by the students rather than with parental ‘assistance’, is a necessity. Perhaps a longer school day is an option, and without question, better paid teachers are a necessity.

There will always be kids who rise to the top regardless of circumstance, and these kids will likely be leaders in the future. I am curious as to the racial demographic in Ph.D. and M.D. programs in the top schools in the USA. The objective would not be to exclude students, but might be an incentive for more education funding here at home. Are we witnessing the beginning of the decline and fall of the American empire? A scary thought.

Meanwhile, a NASA spacecraft flying around Titan, a  moon up there near Saturn, has detected traces of the chemical used in the manufacture of propylene, that most important ingredient in food containers and car bumpers. I’m guessing this could become useful information for my great grandchildren. The article was a full page in length but I covered the essence.

And then, the journal Antiquity has published findings that establish an earlier date for the birth of Siddhartha Gautama who became Buddha. This is notable because there are approximately 350 million followers of Buddhism, making it one of the world’s great religions. The site at Lumbini is by tradition, the birthplace of Buddha. One of the remarkable facts is that the site was largely abandoned from about 250 BC until 1896.

The archeological findings reflect the nonviolence and nonoffering traditions of the Buddhist religion. As they excavated beneath the known sites, they found earlier existence of a shrine which pushed back birthdates about a hundred years, and more or less reinforced the Nepalese estimate of the Buddha’s birthdate to about 623 BC.

Home loan rules are changing again (January 10), and for the worst, thanks to our friendly legislators in DC. So if you’re thinking about refinancing your property, call me today. I do answer calls on weekends. The magic number.. 818.305.4695

Have a better week!

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

You may not know that many non-living things have a gender.

Web Page — Female, because it’s always getting hit on.

Subway — Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

Hourglass — Female, because over time, the weight can shift to the bottom.

Hammer — Male, because it hasn’t changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.

Remote Control — Female. Ha! You thought it’d be Male. But consider this — it gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

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 Les Berman CMC
        Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
NMLS ID 227675
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

December 28, 2013 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, medicine, real estate, sports | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 10-26 Bitching & Complaining Day, Ben Franklin, Jersey (Island), Neanderthals and much much more…


Coming soon to a house familiar to you is the North American Bitching and Complaining About Sleep Day. Actually, we may even call it an international day, just for fun.. or not. Daylight saving time will go away for another year. If you’re on top of things and have world clocks, you are going to have a lot of fun.

 

If you’re in Beirut, Ittoqqortoormiiot, Torshavn, Andorra La Vella, Paris, Podgorica, Jerusalem, or anywhere else in or near Europe, you are changing your clocks today, in your time zone. I know you’re curious about time changes, so let’s start with the guy on the 100, Ben Franklin. When he was in Paris in 1784, he wrote an essay entitled “An Economical Project for Diminishing the Cost of Light”: he was all about saving candles by using morning sunlight. Apparently his essay did not get a passing grade but they put him on the $100 bill anyway.

 

Then there was a New Zealander (aka Kiwi) who got into the back files of the library, likely found Franklin’s essay, and in 1895, proposed the same thing, except revised for New Zealand use, to the Wellington Philosophical Society. For those who are geographically challenged, Wellington is in New Zealand. And if you don’t know where New Zealand might be (No – nowhere near Old Zealand), you might be, according to Bill Engvall, a redneck !

 

Anyway, the concept of DST did not gain much traction until Kaiser Wilhelm figured out that there could be fuel savings. And once the Germans changed, the British and other countries on both sides of the trenches immediately followed suit. That includes the USA. But it went away after WWI until FDR brought in War Time, a permanent change from 1942 until the end of that war in 1945.

 

At this point in time, no one really cared about the rest of the world, (as demonstrated by the total lack of geographical awareness by most Americans under age 62), and the US allowed random time changes around the country. So cities, states, trains and buses all decided which time standard they would follow, and yes, people missed their connections frequently. And no, it really was your fault for not knowing that you changed time zones when you crossed the street. You couldn’t complain, sue, or shoot anyone.

 

So finally, Congress, in the days when they actually cooperated, established the Uniform Time Act of 1966 to be followed by the Energy Policy Act of 2005. Well, it sort of helped because states could opt out at will. So Hawaii and most of Arizona found will, and opted out of DST. So now you know why you may be complaining next week when the US and Canada do the spring forward, fall back thing, or, as is said in other countries (of which there are many for those of you who are geographically challenged), push the clocks forward, gain an hour here, shift the clocks etc. But I want to leave you with this final comment. Stop complaining and do what Congress has ordered you to do !!

 

Meanwhile, across the land and over the pond, back towards an ancestral homeland (for some) in England, and the island of Jersey,(aka Old Jersey)  the only known late Neanderthal remains in northwestern Europe have been rediscovered. Although excavations in the area had begun back in 1910, I think they were covered up because it may have started another war. My theory is that because Jersey is so close to Normandy, France, that the people who found these remains, were getting ready to prove that Neanderthal descendants were still alive and well in France.

 

Of course, for those of you who know about the great love between the French and the English, you would know that it would have started with words, and would have ended up with an invasion of sorts. Can you imagine the effect on England if that had happened? Excellent Cuisine. More rudeness. Better dental hygiene. And being able to drive on the right side of the street. But there would not have been a resolution on the existence of Neanderthals because I believe they are present on both sides of the Channel and possibly even in Loch Ness !

 

Need money for a critical real estate acquisition, commercial or residential? Call me today at 818.305.4695.

Have a better week !

Les

 

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

Things I have learned from visiting the South

.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!

“Jawl-P?” means “Did y’all go to the bathroom?”

People actually grow, eat, and like okra.

Fixinto is one word. It means I’m fixing to do that.

There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper

 

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 Les Berman CMC
       Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
NMLS ID 227675
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

November 12, 2013 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, stuff | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 8-31 Concerts. Shrieking. Cute. Spock… and so much more


There are things that I don’t understand. And when I ask, no one has an explanation. So here goes.

 

Many of us either go or have gone to concerts. Some tickets are well over $200 from what I’ve been told. So you go to the concert, and what happens. You blew your $200 or $400 as the case may be, simply because you have entered a scene that sounds like “Sing Along With Mitch” or “The Ray Conniff Singers”. Everyone at the concert is singing along with the stage act. Or shrieking. Or crying. Or standing around, amazed at what is going on around you, and being absolutely unable to hear the stage act.

 

I think, that most of these people are of the female gender. I have never see a video clip of a male doing these things. Now I understand that this is not anything new. The shrieking and screaming was evident in clips of Sinatra (some of my younger readers may never have heard of him), and definitely of the Beatles. I don’t get it. Why bother to spend that kind of money to scream and sing along? It isn’t rational.

 

I wonder what Mr. Spock would have said in observing such behavior. I can see his quizzical look. And then his pensiveness before coming out with a somewhat meaningful statement. But, I think you get the drift.

 

I haven’t been to a concert other than at the Hollywood Bowl, or the Greek Theater, because, at least at those venues, it seems that the audience is there to be entertained, rather than to be the entertainment.

 

So while I’m questioning the activities of the female of the species, I was in a restaurant the other day, and while waiting, I was watching two young girls interact. Oh stop it ! – I was hearing bits of their conversation !! Now, we males have always heard women of all ages, saying to others that their hair is cute ( WHAT???) or shoes, or whatever. I began to wonder what would happen if one said something complimentary to the other – and I think women can find something to comment on regardless of how obscure it might be (and most men cannot so we shut up) – and what if the other said nothing in return. I don’t think that would ever happen but what if ???

 

Would female #1 ignore the slight, or would she repeat the compliment to female #2? Would female #2 find something to compliment, like a button placement or something equally obscure, but just to pay back #1. I don’t understand that stuff.

 

Do my male readers find something to say, even if it’s not true? Is that the ‘right’ thing to do? I mean, if there is something special, I will say something to the female, but I don’t say anything just to be heard? I think I remember in “The Little Rascals” movies where one of the boys paid a compliment to a girl by saying something like “You don’t look as fat as you did last month” ! Even I could never say that to anyone, regardless of whether or not I was thinking it.

 

What if the female was wearing something you really did not like. The three questions are: what would you say if you are married? and what would you say if you’re dating? and what would you say if you’re married and want to stay married?

 

I saw someone a while back that I had not seen in at least five years. I almost said “Wow, you’ve put on weight” but I managed to keep quiet. Or what do you say, or think, when you see someone wearing something that is absolutely wrong? My daughter read me the riot act one time, actually more than one time – but one time that is memorable  !

We were going out for dinner and I walked out of my room and she said nicely “You’re not wearing that” which became “You’re NOT wearing that” which became “You’re not wearing THAT!” . I finally got the hint.

I hope my female readers answer some of my questions. Please …

 

To those of you who observe Rosh Hashanah, I wish you a Happy New Year ! To those who do not observe, I still wish you a Happy New Year! To those who know someone who observes, I wish you a Happy New Year. I think I covered everyone.

Have a better week !

Les

 

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

Now that I’m older here’s what I’ve discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it ?
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 Les Berman CMC
Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
NMLS ID 227675
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

September 16, 2013 Posted by | fun, general interest, humor, stuff | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly … 8 – 2 A Story Worth Reading… and more


So… I heard a story on the radio and was so impacted by it that I pulled over to the side of the road and tried to capture everything.

The story is told about a football player at a major football school who would brag to everyone about his classy upbringing and about all that his family had. He was a very good athlete, a running back,  and had lots of potential. He would talk about his big house and the cars, and because he was from the south, he found it necessary to mention the household staff – maids and cooks and butler and whatever else they had. And he was a very good football player.

 

One day, an old man came to the university practice field, and was asking about the star athlete. The athlete was told that an old man was in the stands, looking for him. He looked over, and ignored the old man. Not a wave. No head nod. Nothing. And the old man watched the practice, and waited in the stands, looking at the star athlete. But the star athlete went directly into the locker room, passing right by the old man, not even acknowledging his father.

 

A couple of weeks later, there was a pep rally prior to the big football game. It started in the gym, or field house, or whatever those places might be called. An old man in well worn clothes, appeared at the gym, asking about his son. And somebody went over to the big 6’4″, 280 lb nose guard (I don’t exactly know what that is either) to tell him about the old man being at the door. The big guard looked over towards the old man, and jumped up, rushed over, and embraced the man. He was so excited to see him, and he half dragged, half carried the old man to the coach and the microphone. He asked for the microphone and when given it, he said ” Hey everyone ! This is my daddy and I’m so excited and happy that he could be here. Please say hello to him” and the gym erupted in cheers and applause.

 

The moral of the story is simple: If you want to succeed in life, be yourself !! There are people who really know you.

 

I sat in my car, listening to this story, stunned. And pensive. And sad. Sad because I know some like the running back. And happy, because I know many like the big nose guard.

 

And as I write this, I’m still stunned. Do you know the running back? Do you know the nose guard? Send this to him or her – if you can.

 

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

Airports at higher  altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density.

The  University of Alaska spans four time zones

The tooth is the only part of  the human body that cannot heal itself.

In ancient Greece , tossing an  apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant  she accepted.

Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright  to the song Happy Birthday.

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Email: les@lesberman.com

 

August 19, 2013 Posted by | general interest, sports, stuff, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 6-1 Asteroid. Aftershock. Wooly Mammoth. Glow in the Dark Cockroach. And a Monkey with Colorful Attributes !


I’m certain that you were out there today to make sure that the asteroid missed us. This event, with its moon in tow, just missed hitting planet Earth today, by a mere 3.6 million miles. So asteroid 1998 QE2 was big enough to wipe out a good part of the world’s population. OK, so that could have been a major issue, but to those of us who survived, the question would be whether or not our insurance would cover the catastrophe. My sources told me that if the asteroid or a meteorite scored a direct hit on your house, you would be covered. Of course, I think the insurance company would have insisted on a copy of the policy which, no doubt, have been incinerated. Likely along with you. So who cares? right? But this is where it gets interesting.

 

If your house was demolished by the aftershock or by shockwaves from the impact, too bad… you’re on your own. I wonder if this would be declared a disaster area?  Similarly, your auto policy would likely cover a direct hit, but none of the peripheral stuff. So the advice would be to make sure that you read the scientific parts of your on line news, do your calculations, and if you’re right… run like hell !

Of course, we don’t know if the impact would cause a global warming event, or if it would be followed by an ice age. I mean, maybe, except in southern California where the weather is always pleasant. Think of the possibilities.

 

Eons from now (eons are slightly shorter than “a long, long time”), perhaps some space alien archaeologist would discover some remains of something, just like they did recently on a remote island in the Arctic Ocean. These people discovered the remains of a wooly mammoth, estimated to be from 10 – 15,000 years old. That in and of itself, is extremely noteworthy. Even better was the discovery of blood that was so well preserved that it flowed freely from this carcass. The muscle tissue of the animal was so well preserved that it looked like fresh meat.

 

Is this important? Of course it is. If a wooly mammoth could be cloned a la Jurassic Park, the scientists could win a huge award from the X Prize. That would be cool, especially if it was put on display where we tourists could be taken (in more ways than one) on tours.

 

While we’re discussing animals, it seems that in 2012, a number of previously unknown specieswere discovered. Those would include a glow in the dark cockroach, a snake that eats snails, a meat eating sponge, and a monkey with, yup, bald, blue testicles. Now the natives have known of this monkey for some time and have hunted the monkeys because they are, apparently, good eating.

 

I wonder if you guys have known of this primate from the time when we were younger and more naive, and unfortunately, too frequently ended up with blue balls. (I sure hope this gets past the spam blockers). There is no evidence that the lesula monkey, native to the Democratic Republic of the Congo has any special properties other than as meat. I would, however, guess that no research would have been done on this topic anyway!

 

In other news from the science department, it has been announced that it has only taken 168 years to identify the pathogen that created the Irish Potato Famine, killing an estimated one million people. The scientists have postulated that the pathogen in question is now extinct. I have no idea how they would know that, but I’m easy and I’ll go with the flow. I wonder why, with apologies to those of Irish descent, if there was a shortage of potatoes, would they not have remembered the words of the late Marie Antoinette, and just eaten cake instead of potatoes.

 

It truly would have been ironic, I think, that if the Irish were able to change their diets to coincide with the words of the late Queen, and saved themselves, that the Queen’s execution would have been somehow rescinded. Food for thought ! (very bad pun !!)

Once more, it’s time for the blatant commercial. I am in the business of providing mortgages – every kind: VA, conventional FHA, jumbo, reverse, etc. If you are thinking about buying a home, or refinancing, you really should be calling me – today. 818.305.4695.

And please, have a better week !!

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?”, before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

 

 

What are you doing to Sleep Better?

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June 2, 2013 Posted by | fun, humor, stuff, Uncategorized, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 4-13 Olympics. Doping. Spelling Bee. Easy Math. And Factoids.


SO… there’s a lot that has happened in the last week. Did you know that the Summer Olympics are coming up in a couple of years – 2016? If you care. But for the record, they are being held in Brazil, and if it’s anything like Carnaval, it’s going to be quite the event. However, the Olympic Committee, in their great wisdom, eliminates sports from time to time, and substitutes them with others.

The sports headed for the scrap heap, in the 2020 Games, currently are baseball and softball, and wrestling. Baseball is likely being eliminated because too few countries play the game and the US always wins (I think). Wrestling is being eliminated, I think, because the eastern bloc countries frequently won the golds, and were caught up in a huge doping situation in the last two Olympics. My question, especially as it relates to wrestling, is why eliminate a sport that was around in the original Olympics and definitely since the beginning of the modern games in 1896.

 

It is easy to keep wrestling in the games – just penalize the countries that were doping in the last two Olympics, and restrict their participation in that sport for the next Games. But wrestling is now considered a fringe sport. And it must compete with other contenders for space in the 28 sports. And here they  are – the contendas (pronounce it with a Brooklyn accent) – it must compete with seven other contenders — baseball and softball, squash, karate, wakeboarding, sport climbing, roller sports and the martial art of wushu.

 

Now I don’t know much about wakeboarding. I wonder if it’s a relative of waterboarding? If so, it will be very popular (but is the winner also the loser?). Then there is sport climbing – give me a break. Roller sports – that could be fun. A sophisticated roller derby perhaps. And then there is wushu. Is that served with broccoli and ginger sauce? I don’t know – never heard of it.

 

I would like to propose a couple of other options. Some of these might be unique to North America, but perhaps not. How about remote control channel changing? The first set would be with batteries. The second set would be without batteries and without assistance from the family. And the contestants would all be positioned in a well worn sagging Archie Bunker type chair.

 

I think two other games to consider would be tiddlywinks, and pickup sticks. The cheating scandalwould be with secretly weighted tokens in each game. And extra couple of grams could make the difference ! Bottom line is that the Olympic Committee, in my opinion, will do whatever is more beneficial for their own, how should I say this, hmmm.. bank accounts !

 

In other stunning news, the Scripps National Spelling Bee contest has brought in a change to their format. I looked up some of the winning words from the past, and decided that a couple of the easiest words since the contest began were knack (1932), therapy (1940), and initials (1941). Of course, at the other end of the spectrum are words like eudaemonic (1960), esquamulose (1962), staphylococci (1987), chiaroscurist (1998), autochthonous (2004), appoggiatura (2005), cymotrichous (2011) and guetapens (2012). ( I hope I typed those correctly.)

 

I can’t even pronounce the post 1960 words and for sure, I don’t know what they mean. Now, the kids are being tested on vocabulary too. C’mon, did we ever care what words meant when we used them. If it turned out that the word we used was a “bad” word, our parents definitely made sure we knew about it. Shock ! Awe! Warnings and then spankings.  Of course, then we would say it quietly on the school ground. Our friends would ask what the word meant, and we would say that we didn’t know, but we got whupped for using it. And it became a stealth word ! So how are these kids supposed to put these words in their vocabulary. They are eighth graders  – or younger. Hmmm.. they are going to walk around and say something like – yesterday, the esquamulose crept up behind the autochthonus and beat it on the head with a guetapens. And they will win the contest. Please Scripps, eliminate the vocabulary section and do your part to keep the country dumb !

Here’s something I just read about – and you likely didn’t know this either. Aren’t I a wonderful font of information today?

 

Sometimes you need a math problem solved and you don’t have your calculator handy. If you open up Google, you can put math problems right in the search bar and it will give you the solution! It gives you the answers for very simple equations like addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division, but it also gives the answer for very complicated math problems like calculus or trigonometry. Wow !!

Because Google seems to have an answer for everything, it has become a very valuable resource. That’s exactly what I want to be for YOU with all your housing and financing needs. Call me today at 818.305.4695. I have a huge menu – residential purchase and refinance loans, bridge loans on commercial, multifamily, industrial properties, and even on zoned land . The phone is the magic device. Try it today . 818.305.4695.

Have a better week !

Les

 

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone these days. No one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

 

 

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 Les Berman CMC
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NMLS ID 227675
Voice: 818.305.4695

April 14, 2013 Posted by | fun, general interest, real estate, sports | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment