Les Berman Weekly 9-28 Hospital Rules for Survival. 12 Greatest Weapons and much more…

So, I know you’ve been waiting with baited breath for the follow up on my surgery. (Your friends will appreciate it if you brush your teeth now!!)  I was waiting for my surgeon to see me in the pre-staging area, when he came in and verified that it was my right knee to be fixed. I said ‘Yes but…”, he paused, as I pulled another sign out of my bag, wrapped it around my head, and he read ” This is NOT a knee !” . Dr. Klapper got a good laugh and a few minutes later, I was wheeled into the operating room and about 20 or more people waiting for me. I thought that was really cool because I couldn’t remember that many people ever waiting for me ! And I couldn’t remember anything after that either.

 

So I woke up in my room at Cedars Sinai Medical Center. And for three days, I received amazing care. And I also learned what you don’t want to do. Because a person in an adjacent room did it. He was loud, abusive to the staff, and over demanding. He demanded that food be brought to him immediately, not caring that the kitchen was basically closed. He was so loud that he woke the other patients on the unit, and all of us were complaining about him. And it got worse by the hour. I suggested a special sedative for him – other patients were not quite as kind.

 

Here are some rules for hospital patients: 1. Be nice even if you are in pain. The nursing staff will do everything they can to make you comfortable. 2. Say Please and thank you. 3. Smile (if you’re conscious). 4. Tell the nurses if something hurts and tell them if you’re feeling better. 5. Phlebotomists are people too. If they visit you at 530AM, you can ask them, politely, to come back after 730AM.  They will.  6. The people who clean your room are also people. Thank them for cleaning up after you. They are nice people too !

AND remember that you are lucky enough to be living in a country that offers amazing care. So, if you have lucky stars, count them !

 

Here’s what else I learned. If the doctor says that you need to get in shape for your surgery, assuming that it’s not an emergency and you have more than five minutes, do what the doctor says. I went crazy to get in shape and started distance swimming. My blood pressure went down, actually plummeted. And it was calm all the way through surgery. My muscle tone improved dramatically and it will speed my recovery. And it will speed yours too.

 

OK, so friends came over after I got home, and we ended up marveling at the medical care at Cedars. The wife had a kind of rare thing that caused an audience of medical peeps to be invited for the surgery because of the rarity. Then he had a recent 5 day stay during which it was discovered that he needed a pacemaker.

 

So we decided that we are going to host a seminar, tentatively titled, “Come See My Scars !” Please send me an email and we’ll be sure to invite you. But you must know that you will not be able to show your scars to the audience.

 

As you can imagine, during some of the boring hours, I did find some good stories, the best one being Twelve Weapons that Changed the World. You should know some of them because they are obvious. So take a couple of minutes to contemplate before reading on. Here goes:

– Bone. The act of picking up a bone and hitting someone with it was very early in history. An early example of leverage.

– The Greek Phalanx (750 BCE). This was really cool. A locked in formation that protected the adjacent fighter. Definitely worth investigating.

– The Gladius – (450 BCE – 300 AD) was a 12- 18 inch sword that supplemented the spear and shield of the Roman soldier.

– The English Longbow  (600- 1600 AD) – they finally figured out that it was easier to shoot from far away rather than engage in hand to hand combat.

–  Gunpowder weapons – 900 AD

– Rifled rifle barrels – 1840’s – Greatly increased accuracy.

– Colt Revolver – going from a single shot to a six shooter resulted in the deaths of a lot of people in North America.

– Belt Fed Machine gun achieved prominence in WW1.

– Tanks – WW!

– AK47 – one of the best weapons made – cheap, accurate, functional

– Atomic Bomb – nothing further to be said.

– Drones – the ultimate extension of the long bow.

 

And I’m back at it. For real estate or corporate loans, the magic number is 818.305.4695.

 

Have a better week !

Les

 

Berman’s Factoids of the Week :

Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.

1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it..

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

 

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 Les Berman CMC

  Money Specialist

       

NMLS ID 227675

Voice: 818.305.4695

Email: les@lesberman.com