The View From The Golden Dome

Views on the week's events plus some of mine.

Les Berman Weekly 2-15 Fine Dining. Living Long Loving. The Olden Days. And so much more….


The other day, while dining at that fabulous high end restaurant, yes, Costco’s Food Court, I sat at a table with a delightful lady who insisted that I was a kid. And I was ok with that, of course. But when she offered that her daughter was 73, I was shocked, because this lady certainly did not look 95. And she told me that when her husband came to the table, that I was not to mention that she had been married for 77 years, to the same guy. This gentleman was a spry 97, who moved like a 70 year old. And he still works part time.

 

She told me that his employer thinks he’s only 75 ! When I asked her for the secret of living as long as she has, and in such great shape, she said that she likes to breathe regularly ! And then she says that she married the best guy in the world. After I left, I recalled a conversation I had with a friend several years ago, after my divorce.

 

Steve asked me how many couples I knew that were as much in love with their spouse as they likely were when they got married. I think that I couldn’t get past six or seven. In the ensuing years, I think I might have been able to add two or three more couples. The rest, we decided, were complacent.

 

This isn’t a criticism but an observation. And I truly hope that you are one of those special couples, and that your Valentine’s Day was special. And that the couple who have 77 years together, also had a special day.

 

On the other hand, I was talking to another friend who had made a deal with his wife. They agreed that Valentine’s Day was over rated and that they could have a great dinner a week later. Of course, if you’re in the path of this week’s eastern and southern snow storm, you’re not going anywhere anyway. And I hope you survive the repercussions !

 

I remember, back in the olden days before cell phones, that there was a snow emergency in Winnipeg, and the emergency broadcast system said that telephones were to be used for emergencies only. I had a date that night so I decided I should call to tell her that I would not make it to pick her up. Her father answered the phone. I asked for his daughter, whose name I can’t remember now, and he said “Are you the police?” uh no. “Is this an emergency” uhhh..”get off the phone” and he hung up. I wonder if his daughter got the hint that I wouldn’t make the date.

 

I wonder if that was a turning point in my life? Maybe I should have become a cop so I would never have another dad-enforced broken date !

And here are a few more things that we didn’t know about in 2013. For women, smelling a newborn baby feels as good as drugs to addicts or cheeseburgers to those just breaking a fast. I don’t know if the smell is before or after the poop. Maybe it’s just the smell of the powder. But I like babies – until the diapers are loaded. A 10,000 year old mammoth trunk found in Siberia still had enough stuff that could be extracted to get the species going again. Heart disease patients with a positive attitude are more likely to exercise and live longer. The most positive patients exercised more and had a 42 percent less chance of dying during the follow-up period. I hope that I won’t ever be the exception to the rule! The oldest globe of the world dates from around 1500. It was drawn on ostrich eggs. I think it may not be edible !

 

Wolves howl to bring lost wolves back to the pack and to express the quality of their relationships. Come on – are their wolfpack therapists who figured this out? Give me a break !  Men howl to express their conquests on Saturday night. No therapist required for that knowledge ! Dolphins apparently have a signature sound that identifies them like a name. Scientists don’t know how they get their names. It’s so simple – how do those dweebs miss it ! The dolphin moms simply get the latest waterproof edition of the baby name book. Everyone knows that – now.

 

If you or someone you know needs money for their business or for a residential mortgage, I am still the guy with the magic number 818.305.4695. Memorize it ! Pass it along ! Make it work for you too !

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

“Brevity is the soul of wit.” – Mark Twain.  “Brevity is the soul of lingerie.” – Dorothy Parker

“I didn’t like the play – but then I saw it under adverse conditions — the curtain was up.” – George S. Kaufman

“Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.” – Mark Twain.

“Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little.”  – Gore Vidal

“Liberty is the right to do whatever the law permits.” – Charles Monteiscu

“If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle.” – Rita Mae Brown

 

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 Les Berman CMC
      Business and Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

 

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March 15, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, medicine, real estate, small business, sports, stuff, Uncategorized, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 6-1 Asteroid. Aftershock. Wooly Mammoth. Glow in the Dark Cockroach. And a Monkey with Colorful Attributes !


I’m certain that you were out there today to make sure that the asteroid missed us. This event, with its moon in tow, just missed hitting planet Earth today, by a mere 3.6 million miles. So asteroid 1998 QE2 was big enough to wipe out a good part of the world’s population. OK, so that could have been a major issue, but to those of us who survived, the question would be whether or not our insurance would cover the catastrophe. My sources told me that if the asteroid or a meteorite scored a direct hit on your house, you would be covered. Of course, I think the insurance company would have insisted on a copy of the policy which, no doubt, have been incinerated. Likely along with you. So who cares? right? But this is where it gets interesting.

 

If your house was demolished by the aftershock or by shockwaves from the impact, too bad… you’re on your own. I wonder if this would be declared a disaster area?  Similarly, your auto policy would likely cover a direct hit, but none of the peripheral stuff. So the advice would be to make sure that you read the scientific parts of your on line news, do your calculations, and if you’re right… run like hell !

Of course, we don’t know if the impact would cause a global warming event, or if it would be followed by an ice age. I mean, maybe, except in southern California where the weather is always pleasant. Think of the possibilities.

 

Eons from now (eons are slightly shorter than “a long, long time”), perhaps some space alien archaeologist would discover some remains of something, just like they did recently on a remote island in the Arctic Ocean. These people discovered the remains of a wooly mammoth, estimated to be from 10 – 15,000 years old. That in and of itself, is extremely noteworthy. Even better was the discovery of blood that was so well preserved that it flowed freely from this carcass. The muscle tissue of the animal was so well preserved that it looked like fresh meat.

 

Is this important? Of course it is. If a wooly mammoth could be cloned a la Jurassic Park, the scientists could win a huge award from the X Prize. That would be cool, especially if it was put on display where we tourists could be taken (in more ways than one) on tours.

 

While we’re discussing animals, it seems that in 2012, a number of previously unknown specieswere discovered. Those would include a glow in the dark cockroach, a snake that eats snails, a meat eating sponge, and a monkey with, yup, bald, blue testicles. Now the natives have known of this monkey for some time and have hunted the monkeys because they are, apparently, good eating.

 

I wonder if you guys have known of this primate from the time when we were younger and more naive, and unfortunately, too frequently ended up with blue balls. (I sure hope this gets past the spam blockers). There is no evidence that the lesula monkey, native to the Democratic Republic of the Congo has any special properties other than as meat. I would, however, guess that no research would have been done on this topic anyway!

 

In other news from the science department, it has been announced that it has only taken 168 years to identify the pathogen that created the Irish Potato Famine, killing an estimated one million people. The scientists have postulated that the pathogen in question is now extinct. I have no idea how they would know that, but I’m easy and I’ll go with the flow. I wonder why, with apologies to those of Irish descent, if there was a shortage of potatoes, would they not have remembered the words of the late Marie Antoinette, and just eaten cake instead of potatoes.

 

It truly would have been ironic, I think, that if the Irish were able to change their diets to coincide with the words of the late Queen, and saved themselves, that the Queen’s execution would have been somehow rescinded. Food for thought ! (very bad pun !!)

Once more, it’s time for the blatant commercial. I am in the business of providing mortgages – every kind: VA, conventional FHA, jumbo, reverse, etc. If you are thinking about buying a home, or refinancing, you really should be calling me – today. 818.305.4695.

And please, have a better week !!

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?”, before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

 

 

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 Les Berman CMC
Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
NMLS ID 227675
Voice: 818.305.4695

 

 

June 2, 2013 Posted by | fun, humor, stuff, Uncategorized, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment