The View From The Golden Dome

Views on the week's events plus some of mine.

Les Berman Weekly #473 Routines. Revolutionary. Storm Chasers? Lions and so much more…


I was wondering how my routines started. I know that I can put my pants on one leg at a time because I’ve tried several times over the years to jump into them – and I could never make it work. I guess I could do it if I was to lie on my back and do it that way, but that’s cheating. Think about it – change your routine. See how strange you’ll feel and laugh.

The next routine to change is the way you brush your teeth. Start at the other side of your mouth and don’t give up. Start laughing. What an amazing way to start your day. Changing your routine and laughing. And what else can you do… and because it’s routine, you don’t even think about it. Going for a walk – start with the other foot. When you step off the curb, use the other foot. Use the other hand when you’re holding your water glass, or beer. At your favorite restaurant, you know, the one where you order the same thing every time – order something different.

All of this sounds totally revolutionary. But think about it. You’ve been doing the same thing, the same way for as long as you can remember. And odds are that your kids learned their habits from you. That’s scary ! You cloned someone ! (And they said it couldn’t be done.)

And consider all of the other routines that we ignore. Watch mama duck with ducklings – they all follow diligently, whether it’s in the water, or in single file, crossing the road, holding up traffic. Of course, then everyone with a camera jumps out of their cars to take a photo. How cute ! All those people jumping out of their cars. Routine. The better photo would have been of all those people taking the photo of the ducks.

Recently, I received an email with the obligatory photos attached – of four legged animals. A pride of lions basking in the sun – on an asphalt road with traffic backed up both ways. Interestingly, to me anyway, was that there weren’t any people outside their cars lining up to take photos. I wonder why the habit didn’t take over. Actually, I figured it out quickly. Get the photo and get eaten, but get the photo at any cost? Cowards 🙂

And then there are the storm chasers. What’s that about? How close can I get before I’m sucked up into the tornado? Duh.. I guess that was too close, he says, going in circles. Let a camera get sucked up, stick a homing device on it, and see what happens. You can find it after. Much more logical I think.

While we’re on death wishes vs fun, how about those people who jump off mountains and have winged suits on. They fly down the mountain at immense speed, and then land, if they can, in a serene valley, five minutes later. All of the people on their support team are really excited; the videos are really amazing; the occasional impact and bouncing off the rocks, well, they are never shown. I think they should be shown. That could be really cool. A modern day saga of Humpty Dumpty. Except now, all of the Kings Horses and All of the Kings Men would be ambulances, paramedics, surgical teams, and funeral directors. Now THAT would be an amazing reality show.

And to me, one of the best reality shows just ended. The Olympics. And NBC continues to abuse the American public by delaying events for twelve hours or more. And the public will watch to see the skiers tumble, the ice skaters fall, the bobsleds crash, and the American hockey teams get beaten, again, by the Canadians. But, the hockey games were shown in real time – I guess the public demanded it and got what they asked for. Twice.

Remember that there is a simple beginning step if you need money to expand or purchase a business; or to get a mortgage to refinance or acquire a new home. The magic number is, (musical fanfare please!)  818.305.4695 !!

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don’t really give a rat’s a** anymore.

..If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.
.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while
.. A tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.

And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.

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 Les Berman CMC
      Business and Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

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April 26, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, real estate, small business, sports, stuff, Uncategorized, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 1-17 Don’t Understand. Technology. We Didn’t Know…. and much more


There is a constant stream of new things that I don’t know about, or that I don’t understand, or both. I used to think, when I was younger, that my ideal companion would be a really hot woman. As I matured (because I haven’t gotten any older), my ideal companion had become someone who was intelligent (yeah – hot too, but in a different way). Now, my ideal companion would be someone who could show me how all of these new programs work, and that person would likely be about seven years old, with their two front teeth missing or maybe eleven.

 

I would be perfectly happy to supply ice cream and candy as the parents permitted. And maybe even a puppy.

 

The speed of technological development truly amazes me. Kids are coming up with new applications daily, and while many won’t happen, those that do will make substantial changes in the world. I know how Facebook works, and I understand how they make money. Twitter – I don’t get it. Pinterest and instagram – no idea. But then I hear about medical developments that astound me.

 

How about a pill sized camera that you can swallow? It will transmit images of your internal organs as it takes the journey. And I was just talking to someone the other day who is involved in a company that has a hand held device that can be used to detect breast cancer. Imagine a Tupperware type of party where the women are gathered around, and scanning themselves with images being transferred to a computer for reading. So the cost of a breast exam goes from hundreds or thousands of dollars to ten or twenty dollars.

 

I’m looking forward to driverless cars. There are so many people on the freeways that aren’t paying attention anyway, this could make our roads safer. Think about the Jetsons. The futuristic food processing is here (I hope it reaches me a little faster please!), and the little space cars will not be that far off. And for those of you who are old enough to remember Dick Tracy comic strips, the wrist radio is a fact today, as is Maxwell Smart’s secret phone. Or how about the secret weapons from the early James Bond movies. All routine stuff now.

 

Bottom line, I need to borrow a seven year old – or maybe an 11 year old please!

 

So here are a few things that we didn’t know at the beginning in 2012. The morning after pill doesn’t work in woman weighing more than 176 pounds. Being bilingual can delay the onset of dementia by 4.5 years. (I wonder if babbling is a language – for 60 year olds). A group of Neanderthals in what is now Spain, cannibalized neighbors including young children (and stuff like this does hit the News every now and then). Chimpanzees can locate fruit trees and locations going back about three years (no big deal – we can find our own fridges too!) Sixty percent of lice are now super lice and are resistant to current treatments (i don’t worry about that anymore. And that’s another story for another time). Astronomers found a galaxy whose light took 13 billion years to get here. They don’t say how they know how long it took, nor do they say if it still exists. Come back to this blog in 13 billion years for the answer! Eucalyptus trees absorb gold through their roots and is shed through its leaves and bark. A chemical found in chilis does something to our bodies to prevent weight gain. (I don’t believe this because the residents of a country just south of the USA eat a lot of chilis and they have a higher incidence of obesity than do Americans.)

 

Big announcement coming out mid week next week ! Watch your email . It’s a good one. And while you’re waiting, need money? The magic number is  818.305.4695

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

 * Never buy a car you can’t push.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

 

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 Les Berman CMC
       SBA and Real Estate Loan Specialist   
       
NMLS ID 227675
 
Voice: 818.305.4695
 
Email: les@lesberman.com

February 14, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, real estate, sports, stuff, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 11-23 Cold. Storm Windows. Outdoor Hockey. Super Dino. Wine Cellars in History… and much much more..


So, I was trying to figure out why we, here in southern California, think that 60 degree weather is cold. I grew up in a climate where the weather would go down to minus 40 degrees and we dealt with it. You dressed for it, and you knew that it would warm up in a day or a week, and we just waited for it to happen. And we never complained… unless it stayed that cold for more than a week. And it did sometimes.

 

Allow me to describe some of our preparations for the season, and I’m going to guess that many of you will have huge question marks about terminology. But that’s ok – you can google everything. In no particular order, because, I can’t remember, we took down all of the screens covering the windows, and replaced them with glass windows. That would create an insulation barrier that would help to keep the house warm. That was in addition to the dual pane windows we had.  I think my dad called them ‘storm windows and doors’. After all, we took the screen doors off and replaced those too.

The curtains were heavy material and that formed another layer of insulation.

 

Then, my dad would make sure that the tank was full of heating oil, the furnace would be serviced and tuned up. I don’t remember being cold, in the house. The cars would have the antifreeze refreshed and the snow tires installed.  And every car had a block heater that had to be plugged in – so the engine would start. The block heater would keep the engine warm so that the oil wouldn’t freeze solid. There would be an electric plug sticking out of the front of the car, and we had lots of fun telling summer visitors that the cars were actually electric: the cars were cheap but those long extension cords cost a small fortune !

And we brought the winter clothes and boots out of the basement storage area, and swapped them out with the summer stuff. And then we waited for the snow to come and for the winds to blow.

 

Of course, when the snow came, it really did. We played hockey on outdoor rinks. And that was life in Winnipeg. And we walked to school most of the time, both ways, in the snow,

 

Now, it gets down to 50 here in Los Angeles, and I reach for the warmer coats and hats. Either my blood has thinned, or I’ve become a wuss. Those who know me best, vote for the latter ! But really, we know it’s cold in LA when the water coming out of the tap is actually cold !

 

Apparently, it hasn’t always been like this. Some 98 million years ago, the climate was pretty conducive to providing sustenance to everything that populated the land. National Geographic described a dinosaur that as a toddler, weighed some four tons and was as long as a school bus. It predated T. Rex and was much larger. They know all this because someone found a few toes and some other bones, and decided that this was a missing link between the dinos that came before and those that came after. How do these people do that? I understand when a complete skeleton is found (check the La Brea Tar Pits in Los Angeles), but how do you reach conclusions from fragments of a four ton toddler?.

 

Meanwhile, in more recent history, archaeologists were working some ruins in Israel and came across the wine room. While the wines were long gone, the residues were there. And through analysis of the residues, it was found that the wines all had the same ingredients – there were actual recipes 3700 years ago. These included honey, mint, cinnamon bark, juniper berries and resins used as a preservative. The recipe was similar to medicinal wines used for 2,000 years in ancient Egypt and probably tasted something like retsina or other resinous Greek wines today.

 

What is interesting to me is that the excavation team found two other doors leading to new rooms. And they can’t open those rooms until the next excavation season – in 2015. What’s up with 2014? I want to know what’s behind the door on the …. right ! or do I want the one on the left? What should I do? what to do? Audience. Help me ….

 

And if you are looking for real estate financing, for your residential or commercial property, call me today ! And if you know any veterans or foreign nationals, please have them call me. The magic number is 818.305.4695.

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

More southern stuff:

Going to “The” Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as goin Wal-Martin’ or off to Wally World.

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good beef stew or chili weather.

Fried catfish is the other white meat.

We don’t need no dang Driver’s Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!

I’m having my “picture made” means “I’m having my picture taken

 

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 Les Berman CMC
        Real Estate Loan Specialist   
       
NMLS ID 227675 BRE #00924913 
 
 
Voice: 818.305.4695
 
Email: les@lesberman.com

December 10, 2013 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, medicine, real estate, sports, stuff, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 11-8 YEsterday. JFK. 3 C’s. Cheeseheads. Rubber Duckies… and much more


It seems like it was yesterday, and I guess, when you consider that the planet is billions of years old, and our existence is a dot in time in that continuum, then the murder of JFK 50 years ago does actually seem like yesterday.

 

I was in high school in Winnipeg when the first announcement came over the PA system. And I remember the hush that swept through our class. Understand that this was in Canada, but even we identified with the youthfulness of JFK. And then the sobs from a couple of kids, who, as it happened, were Americans. I don’t remember what time it was, but I do remember thinking that if it was the ‘commies’ that shot Kennedy, then we, in Winnipeg, should be safe. After all, I was in Canada and no one hates Canadians. The possibility of war was real.

 

We used to go home for lunch because we had an hour and a half before the afternoon classes began. And yes, I walked home, in the snow, (uphill both ways of course), had lunch, and walked back to school. The TV was on and the chaos of Dallas was mind boggling!

 

I didn’t realize then that Kennedy had an immense influence on the cultures of both the USA and Canada. Kennedy didn’t wear a hat. My dad and his brothers stopped wearing hats (except on cold days). Jackie did wear hats but I have no idea if my mother did or not. Strange to think about now. He was a cool president and a role model.

 

The aftermath, to this day, is pretty amazing. The Warren Commission, Oswald, Ruby and so many more parts to the puzzle that have not been solved, or rather, have not been disclosed. There have been volumes written about conspiracies, cover-ups and collusion – the Three C’s. And some of the official records have been sealed for 100 years. So those of us who were around in 1963 will never know the truth, rather the truth that you will be told.

 

I don’t understand why the ‘truths’ cannot be told now. Did the FBI or CIA or Secret Service screw up? or was this a fluke? We’ll never know, and with the volumes of hypotheses that will be forthcoming in the next couple of weeks, we’ll know even less.

 

The only thing that I know for sure is that this act of violence changed the free world forever… and for the worse. We can’t turn the clock back, but we can aspire to return to Camelot.

 

Meanwhile, in that bastion of good people, known somewhat affectionately as cheeseheads, or to some of you, as Wisconsin, there is legislation being considered to allow gambling on a small scale. We can’t all flock there, unless we’re migrating, but a bill legalizing rubber duck races is up for consideration before the state Senate’s Workforce Development Committee. And this happened because someone in the Wisconsin Department of Justice determined that, yes, duck races are, in fact, gambling !

 

Now, if you have never partaken in a rubber duck race, you know it’s extremely competitive, of course. You get a rubber duck with a number on it. You place it in a moving body of water, like a river or stream,  and then you yell, eat hot dogs, and drink cold beer, until the first duck crosses the finish line. And the owner of the number on that duck wins a prize of some kind. But most people don’t really care unless they are under eight years of age and are tired of drinking beer.

 

And I’m sure there have been instances when someone with scuba gear has attempted to move his duck to the front of the floating flock, and I’m equally sure there have been alligators and sharks involved as well. But Sheboygan Wisconsin is taking this to a new level, having determined that rubber duck races are, in fact, gambling. Wow… I think that some of those government people have the holes from the Swiss cheese, in their heads !

 

How would they deal with the golf balls being dropped from a helicopter? Same concept except that a chopper hovers over a parcel of land with a hole and flag, and the chopper guy dumps the bag of golf balls. The numbered ball closest to the hole wins the prize. everything else is the same : the yelling, the hot dogs, and definitely the beer !

 

In the meantime, if you or someone you know, is a veteran of the US Armed Forces, they should talk to me about some of the extraordinary financing opportunities for vets. And similarly, if you know immigration attorneys or investment advisors that work with foreign nationals, I have financing programs for them too. The magic number… 818.305.4695.

Have a better week !

Les

 

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED LIVING IN THE SOUTH….

“Ya’ll” is singular; “All ya’ll” is plural.

You measure distance in minutes (that’s here in LA too).

You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

You know what a DAWG is.

 

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 Les Berman CMC
        Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
NMLS ID 227675
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

December 1, 2013 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, stuff, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Les Berman Weekly 5-10 Parades. Bagpipes, Regimental. Sugar Cookies and more….


Ever since I was a kid, I have loved parades. And there were times when I was allowed to watch a parade by myself. But remember, that was a time when doors were left unlocked, kids played outside or at neighbors, and when the first “dinner time” was called out on the street by one of the moms, we all headed home for our dinner.

 

I guess it was sort of Pavlovian. I wonder if our mom’s began to salivate or do something when they also heard the first homing call. Actually, all of us kids congregated at Robert’s house on Friday afternoons, after school, to watch Roy Rogers on TV. His mom would give us sugar cookies, which were THE best, and milk. From a bottle, not a carton. The show ended, and there was a stream of kids leaving to go home. Can you imagine, we actually walked to and from school, in the snow and rain. I can’t imagine that happening in LA today – or ever. Walk? definitely a foreign word !

 

We played street hockey – and the cars slowed down so we could get out of the way. Street hockey was the northern version, I think, of New York’s stickball. And we played hockey when the streets were covered with snow, or not. During the snow season, the goal posts were mounds of snow that were often demolished by the cars when they passed, and during the no-snow season, the goals were sticks, stones or whatever we brought from our garages. And can you believe this – girls played too. With the boys. Okay – so if we didn’t let them play, the moms would gang up on us and issue the decree – girls played or boys didn’t. hmmm…

 

We kids rode the buses. It was safe… unless we were in the ‘bad’ part of town and a drunk was sitting in the back, getting more drunk. So we were allowed to ride the ‘pumpkins’ – the buses in Winnipeg were orange and some other color that was somewhere between yellow, beige, and skin color. No, I can’t be PC because I have no idea what that color was or is.

 

One of the big parades was for Memorial Day. Old soldiers, from both WWI and WWII would march up the main street, sometimes in step, and most of the time, not, and bands would play. They played band music, songs from the wars etc., but my absolute favorite were the bands that played bagpipes. One of the more famous bands, to this day, is the Winnipeg Police Pipe Band. They started in 1920, even before I was born, and still are around. (www.wppb.ca) .

 

In case you weren’t aware, in most of the pipe bands, the members wear kilts. I do know, that you, and I, have always been curious about the rumors. Yes, we all want to know if they go ‘regimental style’ or not.  Well, recently, in the Scottish Medical Journal, a researcher decided that those who went ‘regimental’  aka ‘commando’ , were more likely to be able to procreate than those who wore tight undergarments. They went on to say that wearing a kilt is an absolute chick magnet – although the Scottish said it somewhat differently. Men who wear kilts experience a strong sense of masculinity and freedom.

 

The kilts are made of tartan and each design is related to a specific clan in Scotland. Look it up – you’ll have some good reading. I suspect that every kind of device has been used by women to try to determine if there are a preponderance of kilt wearers going regimental or not. The important thing to note is that because of the looseness of the garment, the number of little things that help make little babies (spam blockers beware) are more numerous and stronger. Thus sayeth the Scottish researchers…

 

The moral of the story… see where the Winnipeg Police Pipe Band is playing, and, if you or someone you know is having problems, the answer could be to wear a kilt and go regimental ! Make sure you’re wearing the right tartan.

And now you’ll enjoy the parade even more !

 

You know about the rates, and you are frozen. Ask me about my quick thaw kit. The magic number is 818.305.4695. And use that for VA, conventional and even FHA loans too. If you’re interested in bridge loans for investment properties anywhere in the country, that number to call is 818.305.4695 !!

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

There is great need for a sarcasm font.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

 

 

 

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 Les Berman CMC

Real Estate Loan Specialist   

       

NMLS ID 227675

 

Voice: 818.305.4695

 

Email: les@lesberman.com

 

 

May 13, 2013 Posted by | business, general interest, humor, real estate, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Best News. Oldest Person. Biggest Party. Lost Heads… and much more


The best news is that hockey returns on Saturday. For those of you who don’t understand hockey, think about your football season being cut in half AND no news about the ‘athlete arrest of the day’ from the football world. There’s something missing from real life.

Now, I’m not one of those people who can cite statistics, salaries, and schools the players attended. And I don’t care if a team is at the top or the bottom, and I usually don’t care about any team in particular. And I will not usually know the names of more than one or two players on one or two teams. OK – so you don’t understand. Simple. I love the game. And to me, it’s about the game, not the personalities. Sure, everyone wants a Wayne Gretzky on their team, but it’s a joy to see a great player, regardless of which team he’s on.

Last season, the Los Angeles Kings won the Stanley Cup. That’s a title you want because it’s yours forever. There are other titles that you don’t want – and that last forever. Those are the ones that will be attached to people like Barry Bonds and Lance Armstrong. And then there is the title that you are guaranteed, within a relatively short time, to lose – that of the oldest person in the world. That title belongs, today, to Jiroemon Kimura, a Japanese man, aged 115 years, 274 days as of 18 January 2013. By the time you read this, there could be a new champion. He has lived in three different centuries. That’s a tough feat to duplicate.

And so I was curious and learned that the person with the longest unambiguously documented human lifespan is that of Jeanne Calment of France (1875–1997), who died at age 122 years, 164 days. I’ll bet that they gave up active sports before they were 100 !

 

Meanwhile, I see that  we are approaching the biggest party celebration of the year – bigger than Thanksgiving, bigger than Christmas. It is of course, Super Bowl Sunday ! I think that starting next week, you will start to see totally irrelevant minutiae about every player on every team. I purposely say “you” because many of you will consume that stuff. I know that I won’t. I watch the game for three reasons – the commercials of course, the advertisements, and of course, the chicken wings. I may record the game just to get past the football so I can enjoy the ads – and the chicken wings.

 

Chicken wings were a waste product just 25 or 30 years ago. Last year, more than 1 Billion wings were consumed on Super Bowl weekend. That means that 500 million chickens sacrificed themselves so we could enjoy the game. What pure unselfish acts! We have so much to be thankful for !!

 

The good news is, I guess, that they didn’t lose their heads – for us. Did your parents ever tell you that if your head wasn’t screwed on tight (or right), you would lose it ! Mine did and I still haven’t figured out how mine is still attached. Well, at Chicago O’Hare, they found a few loose ones. to be exact, 18 ! Now I could wax eloquent about the positions of the heads. Were they looking up, thereby signaling an improvement in the economy? or down? Were they looking at each other, because they were lonely? or looking away? It turns out that this collection of heads had been used for anatomical study in Rome, Italy. They were being shipped to a crematorium in the Chicago area for disposition. According to U.S. Customs, human body parts are shipped all the time.

A couple of years ago, a shipment of about 60 heads turned up in an airport in Arkansas. The number is approximate because there were some partials in that shipment. So two questions arise from this:  #1 – are there no disposal sites in Italy or elsewhere in Europe and #2 – how would Ichabod Crane have reacted to these discoveries?

 

Of course, we all think we know people who are headless. According to an NBC-WSJ poll,  as Obama begins his second term “just 35% of adults think the nation is headed in the right direction (down six points from last month); more than seven in 10 are dissatisfied with the current state of the economy; and 60% believe the coming year will be a time to hold back and save because of harder times ahead. Also, a second inaugural is always different than the first. But it’s also true this isn’t Jan. 2009. “If 2009 was all about hope,” NBC/WSJ co-pollster Peter Hart (D) says, “2013 is about the ability to cope.” What’s more, just 14 percent of adults approve of Congress’ job (which is near the all-time low in the poll), while 81 percent disapprove (which is close to its all-time high). Too bad those heads were destroyed before they could be re-assigned !

 

On the mortgage front, rates have risen about 1/2 point since the all time lows about three months ago. However, they are still in the 3’s. And they will go up. What will you think when rates hit 5 again. People will be going crazy saying how they will only take a 3.5 rate. Memories will be very long, and there will be consumer pushback eventually. So, don’t be one of those people.

Call me today at 818.305.4695. Let’s see what your options really are ! 818.305.4695

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoid of the Week:

How did Picasso keep warm in his early days? By Burning his paintings!

First American novel to sell more than one million copies was — Uncle Tom’s Cabin !

Most popular sport on earth – soccer. Played by more than 100 million people in more than 50 countries.

 

 

 

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 Les Berman CMC
Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
NMLS ID 227675
Voice: 818.305.4695

 

January 19, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment