The View From The Golden Dome

Views on the week's events plus some of mine.

Les Berman Weekly #479 Soap. Explosion. Tombs. Tarzana… and much more


There are many things that I do, whether I like them or not. Every now and then, I make my bed, or wash my car, or even do my laundry. I haven’t found the formula yet that will have someone do all of that for me. And then there are the things that I do like to do, and I find that activity amazing. I like to take showers. No, I’m not going to get graphic but I’ve wondered about all of the soaps that are formulated for each square inch of your body. So with you understanding that my body may be bigger than yours (this week), we have to embark on a quest for knowledge.

 

I visit my brother’s house with some frequency, and I know that they are somewhat pleased that I decide to use their shower. I look at the array of soaps, cleansers, washers, conditioners, gels, body washes along with the loofas, sponges, and wash cloths, and I have instant admiration for my sister in law. How does she know that soap A when combined with D will not cause a cataclysmic explosion? I know that medicines come with lists of reactions when combined with other meds, but I didn’t see such things on soap labels.

 

Now, in fairness to my hostess, I have to disclose that I use one kind of soap. It comes in a bar shape, is not perfumed, and is actually contoured to my abundant body. And I believe it (the soap) is made in America. I’ve been told that women will use different soaps depending on the mood they are in. I think I understand that, sort of… well… maybe ! What if they just want to get clean? How will they ever know what to use?

 

But all of this leads to what I know. And what I want to know. I know my soap works because no one has ever told me that it doesn’t. Or maybe I know a lot of polite, very polite, people ! What I want to know, and I’ve likely wanted to know this since I was first given a bath by someone at the hospital when I was born. Why does soap sting when it gets in my eyes?

 

I have learned to cope with the pain because it doesn’t last long. I wouldn’t take vicodin for that. What I really want to know is why no one has come up with the painless shampoo formula. I mean you can buy chicken nuggets, devised by food scientists to make you believe that those things are healthy; or bread that is full of wood fiber and the stuff that is used to make yoga mats. C’mon scientists… it’s time !! Painless shampoo !!

 

I wonder if the inhabitants of the recently excavated Egyptian tombs had the same problems. That was only 3300 years ago. But they had things that were used for different purposes, some of which should be used to day. Or maybe they are but we don’t know about that. They found some interesting things in this tomb, including colors. Despite it having been looted a few times over the centuries, the looters left behind the evidence that a family, likely to be servants in the afterlife, was entombed along with the dignitary. I wonder if they were locked up because the servants got soap in the boss’ eyes?

 

I’m the money source. If you need funding for your business, for an acquisition, or for anything business related, you need to call the magic number. Our residential group has all of the regular types of mortgages AND, now, a stated income loan at decent prices. All of this is available at the magic number… 818.305.4695.

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

If people evolved from apes, Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If people evolved from apes,why are there still apes?

Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’?

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      Business and Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
Voice: 818.305.4695

July 16, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, medicine, real estate, sports, stuff, Uncategorized, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly #478 5 year old. Importance of Children. Zebras. Flying Birds…. and much much more.


One of the more interesting articles that I’ve read this week tells about the five (5) year old boy who was playing with his dad’s XBox. The dad, not having allowed the little guy to play with the XBox, was a little surprised, and asked his son how he got into the game console. The 5 year old promptly showed his dad how he hacked into the game console system in about two minutes. Being good people, they told Microsoft, the developer of the Xbox. how a five year old could hack in. And Microsoft fixed the bug, and sent the 5 year old a bunch of games and a one year subscription to something I don’t understand.

 

The moral of the story is simple : if you are having any kind of cell phone, tablet, or computer issue, you can usually get an answer now from a 5 year old, and almost always from a 7 year old. This, friends, is why children and grandchildren are extremely important to those of us who can’t find the ‘on’ switch.

 

Meanwhile, in the science world, researchers have discovered why zebras have stripes. I know you have wondered if zebras are black with white stripes, or white with black stripes. I am sure that you asked your parents and grandparents, your teachers, and anyone else over the age of twelve for the answer to that question. People have experimented with painting horses in stripes to see if the offspring would be born with stripes, but I think that was more likely to have happened in Appalachia, or some other states south of the Mason-Dixon line. These people were definitely not schooled in the science of animal husbandry. And while we’re on that topic, why is it called animal husbandry? Did the people who came up with that term, know something that we don’t want to know.

 

Anyway, the paint experiments didn’t work. But what the researchers did find, is that the stripes confused the biting insects, like tabanid biting flies and tsetse flies, that are so common, and vicious, on the plains of Africa. The bugs are confused by the stripes, and leave the zebra alone. Some striped antelope are also relieved of the bug plague too. Of course, the zebra spokesman, in giving the results of the study to the herds of his pals, also said that if the researchers had really wanted to help, they would have come up with something that also would confuse lions.

 

And scientists have recently discovered why larger birds fly in a V formation, and why smaller birds fly in swarms. They fly in swarms to confuse predators who have to focus on a target for accuracy. If you watch dolphin or whale shows on tv, they show how small fish do the same thing. Of course, then comes a whale with an open mouth and there goes that fish swarm.

The V formation is used because it conserves energy. The wings each create some kind of upwash, or draft, and the following birds have less resistance. Also, because birds can’t spell very well, they avoided the bar in A and E formations.

 

The Census Bureau reported that in 2012, 22 million people worked for federal, state, and local governments. So now you know where your tax money is going – you’re paying the salaries of all of those people, some of whom actually work hard, others do hard work, and the rest… you make the decision.

 

Remember, if you need money for any legitimate reason – business purchase or expansion, real estate purchase or refinance, or if you’re buying a home, call the guy with the shiny golden dome – me !! themagic number 818.305.4695.

 

Have a better week.

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt? (you might have to think about thisone)!

Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know there is not enough money?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

 

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 Les Berman CMC
      Business and Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
Voice: 818.305.4695

 

June 18, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, real estate, sports, stuff, Uncategorized, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Les Berman Weekly #476 Sales or Marketing? Flap? Rockfish? 70% Better… and so many more questions…


On occasion, people will interchange the words “sales” and “marketing”. So, to end the confusion, partially, I will refer you to the grocery store ads for this week in the Los Angeles area. The food ads are all about marketing.

 

One of the stores was featuring boneless flap meat. Not being familiar with the term, I decided I better investigate. Now that term, flap meat, seems sort of gross. Flap meat. Would you use that to slap someone? That’s the image it presents. In an article from 2005, it is described as an unflatteringly named cut that comes from the less tender regions of the animal. Since then it has been described in other ways but it is a tough piece of meat that can be flavorful if cooked properly. So why wouldn’t the beef industry give it an attractive name, like sirloin tip. Oh darn.. that’s what it used to be called before the flappers got involved.

 

Moving right along, I notice that rockfish is on sale. That is such a plain name that not even the venerable Wikipedia has an explanation for that one. So other market names in accordance with FDA rules are Pacific red snapper, rock cod, black bass, and Pacific ocean perch. And there are about 70 different kinds of fish that come under that one name. And the article says that it’s not fraud because the FDA approves it.

 

The FDA approves it ?! So the same agency that prevents us from having medicines in common use in other countries; and the same agency that approves genetically modified foods for human consumption, allows multiple names for the same product to confuse the consumer. The industry therefore, is allowed to change the names to “fraudulently” confuse the public and avoid prosecution because a government agency allows it. This is marketing !

 

Then I saw an ad for Boar’s Head Blazing Buffalo Chicken Breast. That is so straightforward. For the uninformed, perhaps that would be a mixture of pig meat, burnt buffalo, and part of a chicken. Do we know better? I’m not sure.

 

I had a product a while back, I believe it was a non-stick food spray, that had a slogan emblazoned on the package – 70% better. No asterisk, no referral to something else on the container. It just said 70% better. I wondered about that and it gave me time to reflect on what it could be better than. I wondered if it was better than butter, or extra virgin olive oil (where do they find the extra virgins please), or if it was better than flap meat or a mixture of pig meat, burned buffalo etc. No conclusion on this guessing game.

 

At the other end of the marketing spectrum, one store was featuring red apples. Other stores featured galas, delicious, Fuji or Granny Smith. I know those brands because the apple (not the phone / computer / tablet apple) people have been promoting those apple types forever. I don’t know – red just is not descriptive enough. But it is better than wormy !

 

And then there is that marketing classic – imitation crab meat. Amazing – they tell the truth and then sell tons of the product. I’ve had the imitation stuff and real crab. The fake doesn’t taste anything like the real one – not even close ! All of this creative marketing is convincing me to become vegetarian. Well… maybe just to eat more vegetables… maybe !

The difference is that sales people sell what the marketing people conjure up !

And then there is the couple in Wyoming who got a permit to build a pond on their property. It provides water for their horses, stocked it with trout, and brought in their ducks and geese. And this was done with a state permit. They complete everything and get a letter from a state agency saying they did everything properly. Yup, then they get a letter from the Feds threatening a fine of $75,000 / day for violating federal law. Hmm.. that seems like a cluster thing. So the latest is that he has federal politicians telling the federal agency to…go away. And they might never be able to eat real fish… by any name.

 

And this is your call to action – financing for small business, real estate loans – residential and private money. Call the magic number 818.305.4695

Have a better week.

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway…

Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

 

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 Les Berman CMC
      Business and Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

 

June 17, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, medicine, stuff, Uncategorized, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly #474 Classic. Speed Limit. 9mm Glock. Hackers… and so much more…


Sometimes I’m in a hurry. A classic example happened the other day when I left about 10 minutes late for an appointment. Traffic seemed to be moving ok and then it happened. And we have all experienced this driver. And we have all experienced similar emotions.

This driver was, well, not only was she driving the speed limit (when does this happen??) but she was actually driving five miles per hour under the speed limit ! At first, I thought I should be polite – I know… totally out of character, right ?… and I did keep the proper distance behind the car and, to use the television version, the alleged driver. I looked at my watch and saw that I was falling further behind. I drover closer to the subject car; and then I flashed my headlights, driving closer.

To no avail. I drove closer, virtually tailgating. I was late. And still 25 mph. And getting later. I reached to my side and was ready to pull out my 9 mm Glock. I thought I could fire a warning shot through the back window and the front windshield, hoping she would pull over. I thought this would be a really good move because I was getting really late. And then I remembered that I haven’t taken shooting lessons in a long time, actually since I was 14. And further, as I was making another move, I realized that I had to pursue a different resolution, even if my heart rate was accelerating, for I remembered that I don’t know how to shoot a gun and, even worse, I don’t even own a gun! So much for that fantasy.

But back to Jane Q. Citizen at 25 mph. She maintained her even speed until the road divided into a four lane road. I then accelerated past her, as did the other 5 cars behind me. And then something rude happened, or at least I think it was rude. One of the drivers behind me, probably as he was passing her, blew his horn. Obviously that driver was frustrated, but to blow your horn at someone who was driving the speed limit is rude. I think that driver should have remained angry and taken it out on someone at home. Like the punching bag with the image of your favorite politician on it. Or someone else that you hold in high regard – like a used car salesman, or your favorite divorce attorney !!

I did get to my appointment of course.

With the recent and ongoing incidences of hacking events worldwide, I return to an article in the NY Times from 2012 that dealt with secure passwords. Here are some of the rules: If your word is in the dictionary, that’s the same as not having one. Never use the same password twice. The password should be at least 14 characters long and should have a passphrase to remind you what it is; jam on your keyboard using the Shift and Alt keys, and then copy the password onto your encrypted thumb drive that you keep with you. or have a password manager. Here’s the link to the article. It’s still worth reading !

And if you want to get back at the hacker, sic the torvosaurus gurneyi on him. That would make old science meeting new science, because the old science thing was bigger than the tyrannosaurus rex and was around about 80 million years before T. rex. The t.g. was on what we now call the European continent. I wonder if European ancestors got so angry with the T.g., that they still harbored a grudge when T rex and homo sapiens evolved. Lindsey Lohan wanted her name mentioned again.

While you’re contemplating the dates and time frames, you should have a money thought. And when you have a money thought, you have to think of me. Because I am the gateway to money. For business financing or residential financing, please call the magic number – 818.305.4695.

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

Questions, Questions. Questions.

Can you cry under water?

 How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’… but it’s only a ‘penny for your thoughts’? Where’s that extra penny going to?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

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 Les Berman CMC
      Business and Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

May 2, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, medicine, real estate, sports, stuff, Uncategorized, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly #473 Routines. Revolutionary. Storm Chasers? Lions and so much more…


I was wondering how my routines started. I know that I can put my pants on one leg at a time because I’ve tried several times over the years to jump into them – and I could never make it work. I guess I could do it if I was to lie on my back and do it that way, but that’s cheating. Think about it – change your routine. See how strange you’ll feel and laugh.

The next routine to change is the way you brush your teeth. Start at the other side of your mouth and don’t give up. Start laughing. What an amazing way to start your day. Changing your routine and laughing. And what else can you do… and because it’s routine, you don’t even think about it. Going for a walk – start with the other foot. When you step off the curb, use the other foot. Use the other hand when you’re holding your water glass, or beer. At your favorite restaurant, you know, the one where you order the same thing every time – order something different.

All of this sounds totally revolutionary. But think about it. You’ve been doing the same thing, the same way for as long as you can remember. And odds are that your kids learned their habits from you. That’s scary ! You cloned someone ! (And they said it couldn’t be done.)

And consider all of the other routines that we ignore. Watch mama duck with ducklings – they all follow diligently, whether it’s in the water, or in single file, crossing the road, holding up traffic. Of course, then everyone with a camera jumps out of their cars to take a photo. How cute ! All those people jumping out of their cars. Routine. The better photo would have been of all those people taking the photo of the ducks.

Recently, I received an email with the obligatory photos attached – of four legged animals. A pride of lions basking in the sun – on an asphalt road with traffic backed up both ways. Interestingly, to me anyway, was that there weren’t any people outside their cars lining up to take photos. I wonder why the habit didn’t take over. Actually, I figured it out quickly. Get the photo and get eaten, but get the photo at any cost? Cowards 🙂

And then there are the storm chasers. What’s that about? How close can I get before I’m sucked up into the tornado? Duh.. I guess that was too close, he says, going in circles. Let a camera get sucked up, stick a homing device on it, and see what happens. You can find it after. Much more logical I think.

While we’re on death wishes vs fun, how about those people who jump off mountains and have winged suits on. They fly down the mountain at immense speed, and then land, if they can, in a serene valley, five minutes later. All of the people on their support team are really excited; the videos are really amazing; the occasional impact and bouncing off the rocks, well, they are never shown. I think they should be shown. That could be really cool. A modern day saga of Humpty Dumpty. Except now, all of the Kings Horses and All of the Kings Men would be ambulances, paramedics, surgical teams, and funeral directors. Now THAT would be an amazing reality show.

And to me, one of the best reality shows just ended. The Olympics. And NBC continues to abuse the American public by delaying events for twelve hours or more. And the public will watch to see the skiers tumble, the ice skaters fall, the bobsleds crash, and the American hockey teams get beaten, again, by the Canadians. But, the hockey games were shown in real time – I guess the public demanded it and got what they asked for. Twice.

Remember that there is a simple beginning step if you need money to expand or purchase a business; or to get a mortgage to refinance or acquire a new home. The magic number is, (musical fanfare please!)  818.305.4695 !!

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don’t really give a rat’s a** anymore.

..If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.
.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while
.. A tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.

And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.

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 Les Berman CMC
      Business and Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

April 26, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, real estate, small business, sports, stuff, Uncategorized, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 2-8 Stupid Tourists. Passports. Biggest Killers. Magic Number.. and so much more….


I find it interesting that Americans, as a whole, don’t travel internationally. Actually, I would guess that a vast number of people have never left their home state, or to be generous, their home state and the one adjacent. In spite of that, Americans are regarded as being rude and demanding when they travel. I wonder if we are as rude as the French are rumored to be.

 

I think it’s the stupid tourists who are rude. They travel to visit a different culture, and then they want everything the same as it is at home. Why bother to travel? Stay at home and look at pictures on the internet or tv. You can download a bunch of photos, put them in an album and then label the album Bucharest or Budapest – yes, those are two different cities in two different countries. And then you can go to your local restaurant and have your same meal with your same friends (who also have never travelled) and you can leave the same cheap tip for your waiter as you always do.

 

However, if you do travel, spend money, and the natives won’t hate you quite as much. I remember the last time I was in Paris, and someone asked if I was American. I responded in my grade school French and I made a friend. Make an effort, and have some fun. But do you even have a passport – one that is current? Well, 61% of you will only sleep in your own bed according to the State Department statistics from early last year. I actually read a comparison of the passport states and the presidential election results from 2012. It was interesting enough to comment on, but I have a severe allergy to politics. You can go here to look for yourself.

 

There are 10 states where more than 50% of the citizens have current passports: Can you guess which is the most passported state: The answer is revealed elsewhere in this issue. Here are #’s 2 – 10.

Massachusetts – 59%, Alaska – 58, NY – 58, Connecticut – 56, California – 54, New Hampshire – 54, Vermont, Washington and Maryland – all at 51. Which state has the most?

 

Of course, one of the reasons you don’t travel is because of all the cool things that you don’t want to know about in some countries – like Dracula’s (aka Vlad the Impaler) Castle in Romania that is about 1000 years old (according to the tour guide), or that place in England where all those big rocks are in a circle and are said to be more than 70 years old (Stonehenge) or ski areas in the Alps that have been used for hundreds of years (even before the modern Olympics – that was started in 1896), and so much more. Get your passport because the government needs your fees.

 

I use my passport frequently. One of my friends insists that I need a passport to go from the Valley into the City (Los Angeles) for many reasons. But I don’t really believe him anymore! Try giving a bank teller your passport for identification. Most of them will freak out and ask for a drivers license because they have never seen a passport before.

 

Meanwhile, in other news, it seems that windows are one of the biggest killers of birds on an annual basis. No, don’t run out and buy a Mac – the windows that I’m referring to are the glass ones. Science News says that between 365 and 900 million birds are killed annually by flying into glass. I mean, that’s a big range. Lots of room for mistakes with that statistic! But the biggest bird killer are those nefarious, evil, creepy, skulking four legged critters know as…. cats. Those allergen carrying animals kill about 3.7 Billion birds annually. I’m sure that  there is a range in that number as well. The good news is that those felines keep the predator robins under control. Who knows how many worms and bugs they annihilate!

New Jersey is at 63%.

The important thing is that you know, and recognize, that my specialties are loans ($50K to $5MM) to businesses anywhere in the country, and California real estate loans. The magic number is the same – 818.305.4695.

Have a better week!

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

“She got her good looks from her father.  He’s a plastic surgeon.”  –  Groucho Marx

“I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep.  What do you want, an adorable pancreas?” – Dorothy Parker.

“I do not want actors and actresses to understand my plays.  If they will only pronounce the correct sounds I will guarantee the results.” – GB Shaw.

“Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.  Luckily, this is not difficult.”  –  Charlotte Whitton

 

 

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 Les Berman CMC
       
Business and Real Estate Loan Specialist
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

 

March 2, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, real estate, small business, stuff, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 2-1 Phil. Stupor. Mistakes – Big Ones. Waxy Ears…. and so much more….


Here we are at the beginning of February 2014. I keep wondering how I got here, and how my kids got to be so old. I haven’t aged a bit – but they sure have !!

 

And it being the beginning of February, we also have the celebration, or not, of the Groundhog, good ole’ Punxsutawney Phil. Now personally, I don’t really care if Phil wakes up for the party and sees his shadow or not. But it might be a lot more entertaining than spending six hours in a comatose state, watching the Stupor Bowl and every bit of analysis, right down to, and including, the minute by minute temperature gauge.

 

Of course, for the last 21 years, the best part of the 2/2 celebration has been the TV repeats of the Bill Murray, Andie McDowell movie – Groundhog Day. I don’t know how women feel about the movie, but for most guys, it’s about achieving the perfection that is needed to make that great connection with the great woman. I know that all of us realize how many hundreds, thousands , or tens of thousands of mistakes we made when trying to achieve. And of course, as time goes on, our memories dwell on that ideal person, who is still the same age in our minds, as she was back when we made all those grievous errors.

 

And then the married guys reflect on the magnitude of a mistake, or supposed mistake, that their spouse blew so far out of  proportion, that it made the Civil War civil in comparison. Of course, the person who committed the grievous crime, knows that their spouse or significant other did not understand the intent of their gesture and did not admit, when it was explained, how minor the transgression was. It did create a minor increase in the economy because you paid for more flowers, counseling, a new diamond ring, and a new car. You did realize that was far less expensive than what you really wanted – a divorce !

 

I remember some of my better errors throughout history, and some that I heard that others perpetrated. One of mine was forgetting the name of my date. That was sort of embarrassing but I got bailed out when someone called her by name. And I think that was on New Year’s Eve. Or a guy who forgot he had a date. The girl decided that she liked the guy enough that she went to his house and rang the bell. He had no idea he had a date scheduled but went out anyway. They got married a few years later.

 

And then there was the time that I said something that I shouldn’t have. Took me a while to cure that one. Or the time when I wasn’t driving yet, and a girl asked if my prior night’s date had been cold. Now women speak a different language. I interpreted the word one way, and she, of course, meant it literally. So my answer, needless to say, was wrong!

I wonder if we of the male species, get into as much trouble by saying yes. Have to think about that.

 

And back to the things we didn’t know about a year ago. Yes, many of them we really don’t care about but you will read them anyway! Commonly used words on Facebook indicate gender, age, and some personality traits. Women will use “excited” a lot whereas guys tend to take the easy way and just swear. The moon is about 100 million years younger than previously thought. Uhh – I don’t care ! And there are species of a mouse in Costa Rica that just sing to protect their territories. I guess if one of them were to win American Idol….

 

Some monkeys lower their voices to keep others from hearing what they are saying. Did they learn that from people or vice versa? Four new species of legless lizards were found near LAX around the oil derricks. Think of all the questions that would arise from that discovery – like, are you sure it isn’t a snake? The Earth will be habitable for another 1.75 billion years (+/-) but I think life forms might be a little different after some idiot unleashes the big nuke. The waxy buildup inside the ears of dead whales are an indication of how much pollution they have been exposed to. HA ! From the same buildup in my ears, my mother could tell me how long it had been since I washed, and she was probably right !

 

And finally, for today, a reminder that if you need money for your business, business real estate, or any other real estate, the magic number is 818.305.4695 !

Have a better week!

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

Save the earth….. It’s the only planet with chocolate!*

 

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 Les Berman CMC
      Business and Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

 

February 24, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, medicine, real estate, sports, stuff, Uncategorized, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 1-25 Scandalous. Sugar. Asteroids and Elephants… and So Much More !!


It’s absolutely scandalous. My vision, or perhaps hallucination, has been destroyed. I just learned that legions of Girl Scouts do not, and have not made, the legendary Girl Scout cookies since pre-historic days. They are, in fact, made by Little Brownie Bakers, a subsidiary of… ready.. Keebler and by ABC Bakers, a George Weston company.

 

And for all these years, I had these crazy visions of Girls Scouts (GS) , in a long line, cutting, and shaping, and forming all of those varieties of cookies. I thought that Lucy and Ethel got that job on the chocolate candy conveyor because they wanted to emulate the Girl Scouts. Now, I have to change my head process and envision a bunch of elves running around and doing that job. So disappointed. And I’ll bet someone will tell me that Santa Claus isn’t real either. Or that they found the Titanic at the bottom of the ocean. Or that TinkerBell never forgave Peter ! What else can burst my bubble this week?

 

So let me tell you a few things about Girl Scouts. They do not make cookies. Nothing else matters. The cookies are now free of trans fats, and therefore, don’t taste as good as they did previously. And the GS can decide which bakery they want to use because, the bakeries may make different cookies. And each bakery can give different names to the cookies. I actually found a list of about 40 different types of cookies that have been discontinued.

 

Now there’s something wrong about that. Removing sugar highs from kids? That un-American. It’s heresy. It’s not fair! It’s poor sportsmanship. But really, Thin Mints make up 25% of the total sales, followed by 19% from Caramel deLites (from ABC)/Somoas (from LBB) – so the name for the same cookie depends on the bakery. And the number of cookies per box, which has not only dropped over the years to save money, varies based on where you are in the country! The dark underbelly of the industry… How will each of the GS learn to look after their husbands and treat them the way our grandmothers treated our grandfathers, if they don’t actually bake the cookies. I’m sorry that I had to reveal this truth to you! Buy GS cookies anyway please!

 

I was looking at other things we didn’t know a year ago. How about this one. 2013TV135 is the name of an asteroid that will hit us on April 13, 2036 according to some Ukrainian astronomers. NASA scientists disagree. In 22 years, I’ll be a lot older than I am today, and I probably won’t remember that I wrote this, so please put this in your computer calendar and call me to tell me who was right.

 

Other scientists have determined that all mammals urinate for the same length of time – 22 seconds. They named this the “law of ……” If you are going to time yourself, I don’t want to know.

 

And fossil evidence showed that our friendly Neanderthals used toothpicks. We are not told the name of the brand that they chose.

African elephants are able to understand hand gestures, even if not trained to do so. I wonder how many of them did not understand the gesture for ‘stop’! And what happened to those trainers?

 

And other scientists have decided that birds locate food in the morning but don’t eat it until later in the day. So what’s the deal with the early bird and the worm?

 

Kissing is the ultimate test for a relationship. Well, it’s actually a taste test. I guess non-smokers must have a slight advantage in this contest. The study also said that more kissing increased the quality of the relationship but did not necessarily indicate an increase of the kind of activity that would cause this edition to be blocked as spam !

 

My son-in-law grew up in Brighton and his soccer team is in to round 4 of the English FA Cup. I hope his team wins Saturday !! Go Brighton & Hove Albion Seagulls !!

 

You all saw my announcement a couple of days ago. Business loans are highest on my agenda now. Real estate loans still get done. Ask me how I can help you – anywhere in the country. The magic number remains the same – 818.305.4695.

Have a better week !

 

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
The second mouse gets the cheese.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

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 Les Berman CMC
       SBA and Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

February 17, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, real estate, sports, stuff, Uncategorized, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Les Berman Weekly 1-10 Three More Weeks. Disappearing Things. Kid in the Bottle. and so much more…


It’s started already. I guess that’s ok because it is three weeks away. But how can they start talking about it and postulating when they don’t even know who will be in the Super Bowl? Ok, so the ads will cost about $4 Million per minute. I thought that was interesting especially since I have absolutely no interest in the game itself.

 

I do remember a great Pepsi commercial where the kid sucked himself into the bottle. And the old Budweiser ads – the frogs, ‘wassup’ and others. Of course, the ads with Danica Patrick were very watchable as well. I hope they make me think that their $4 million was well spent, not that they really think what I care because I’m outside the prime demographic now.

 

The former inhabitants of parts of Illinois and Ohio would not care either. But they were sharks – yup, a shark nursery was found in them thar parts. They were so old that neither Lewis nor Clarke found them. However, the scientists who did examine the fossils, somehow determined that the sharks were in nurseries, not day care, but shark nurseries. And sharks still raise their juveniles, aka young snakes, in shark nurseries.

 

As those sharks disappeared, others are postulating about the things that will disappear in our lifetimes. Some say the Post Office is all but history and it will be gone within 30 years. And newspapers too. The younger generations do not read newspapers. Everything is electronic – but they will rue the day that newspapers are gone. After all, what will be used to wrap the fish?

 

Britain is planning to phase out checks by 2018. And when the US follows suit, what will the Post Office deliver, because bills won’t be mailed. I like writing checks. Confuses people today. Books and land line phones will go away. Bookstores are closing now – books come electronically now. And landline phones are virtual antiques now. How about a rotary dial phone sound when it rings? I really can’t remember, can you?

 

I don’t know enough about the music business to comment on that entertainment mode disappearing. There always has been music, and there likely always will be some. But the artists, as we know them, may be replaced by one hit wonders because the industry wants instant success. No one will be given a chance to develop.

 

And with all of this electronic stuff, handwriting as a form of communication will disappear. Most kids can’t write very well anyway. And they don’t write, they text. And spelling – forget it! Grammar has already disappeared. And people can’t tell the difference among their, there and they’re, now. And the last thing that will happen, is that our privacy will be a thing of the past. If you want to take the time, you can usually find out anything about anyone, today!

 

And it was 50 years ago that the warning labels were first put on cigarette packages. Recently, I heard and read a number of 1940’s and 1950’s ads for smokes. Back then, the advertisers could and did say anything they wanted about their products. A survey of all the doctors said they preferred Lucky Strikes. Who ever challenged the companies? Today, if they sneeze the wrong way, a boatload of consumer advocates will threaten litigation, class actions etc. just because. Oh well. C’est la vie !

 

Looking for financing to expand your business? or for real estate? call the Magic Number and we’ll get you moving – with the money… 818.305.4695

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

1 * Accept the fact that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue!

2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4 * Drive carefully… It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5 * If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

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 Les Berman CMC
        Financing Business and Real Estate since 1980
       
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

February 5, 2014 Posted by | business, general interest, humor, real estate, small business, sports, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Les Berman Weekly 1-4 Census or Senseless. WWII Numbers. Colorado jobs. Turing.. and much much more


Some days, I just have no idea what to write about, and fortunately the Census Bureau, sensing that, came to the rescue. The U.S. Census Bureau projected that on Jan. 1, 2014, the United States population was 317,297,938. This represents an increase of 2,218,622, or 0.7 percent, from NY Day 2013. In January 2014, one birth is expected to occur every 8 seconds in the United States and one death every 12 seconds. The projected world population on Jan. 1, 2014, is 7,137,577,750, an increase of 77,630,563, or 1.1 percent from New Year’s Day 2013. In January 2014, 4.3 births and 1.8 deaths are expected worldwide every second. India added 15.6 million people over the one-year period, which led all countries, followed by China, Nigeria, Pakistan Ethiopia, and North Dakota (just seeing if you’re reading this).

 

Since we’re playing with numbers, I think that those numbers that demonstrate the resilience and the strength of the American worker are amazing. When it’s crunch time, no one can be as efficient or productive as the people who know they are being relied upon by so many others to step up to the plate. And it’s this kind of productivity that will return the U.S. economy to its leadership position in the world. Consider the following:

 

During the 3-1/2 years of World War II that started with the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor in December 1941 and ended with the surrender of Germany and Japan in 1945, the U.S. produced 22 aircraft carriers, 8 battleships, 48 cruisers, 349 destroyers, 420 destroyer escorts, 203 submarines, 34 million tons of merchant ships, 100,000 fighter aircraft, 98,000 bombers, 24,000 transport aircraft, 58,000 training aircraft, 93,000 tanks, 257,000 artillery pieces, 105,000 mortars, 3,000,000 machine guns, and 2,500,000 military trucks. We put 16.1 million men in uniform in the various armed services, invaded Africa, invaded Sicily and Italy, won the battle for the Atlantic, planned and executed D-Day, marched across the Pacific and Europe, developed the atomic bomb and ultimately conquered Japan and Germany. (Yes, WW2 actually began in 1939 but US direct involvement did not begin until Pearl Harbor. The US had been manufacturing armaments for the Canadians and British since 1939 at least).

 

Production is coming back to the USA, albeit slowly. And it’s happening because of the efficiency of the American worker. Admittedly, a lot of production will never come back to our shores, but more jobs are coming back every month. And American ingenuity creates even more opportunities.

 

Colorado can be the beneficiary of 100,000 jobs, and generate about $67 Million in tax revenue because the people voted to legalize recreational use of marijuana. California is apparently considering a ballot measure in 2016. I wonder if the ‘holier than thou’ negative campaigners will be at the front of the line to take some of the tax revenue generated when the measure passes. I would bet that they will be there with their hands out, arguing for a bigger slice of what could be a billion dollar tax pie. And I wonder if a  union will try to organize these agricultural workers.

 

Meanwhile, the Brits are finally recognizing the work of Alan Turing. Alan Turing is credited with cracking Nazi Germany’s Enigma code, in the process shortening World War Two, and saving countless lives. He was also a mathematical genius, the father of the modern computer and much of his ground-breaking work was conducted at the University of Manchester. The Brits of the day did not approve of his relationship with another male. What they did to him would be called torture today, and ended in Turings suicide. Google his name for details – it will shock you !

 

Need financing for your real estate, or business? The magic number is still 818.305.4695.

Have a better week !

Les

 

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
A calendar’s days are numbered.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.

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 Les Berman CMC
       Financing Businesses and Real Estate for 35+ years
       
NMLS ID 227675
Voice: 818.305.4695
Email: les@lesberman.com

January 30, 2014 Posted by | business, fun, general interest, humor, medicine, real estate, small business, sports, stuff, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment