The View From The Golden Dome

Views on the week's events plus some of mine.

Splish Splash, Killer Pets, King Found, Tennis Elbow.. and more.


Splish Splash. Killer pets and so much more to tell you.

Frequently, someone posts a panicked request on Facebook  – “I dropped my phone in water! What do I do?” So the truth of the matter is that most of the posts are from the female gender, and the water, in most cases, happens to be, usually, the still water of, yes, you guessed it, the commode, the toilet, the Jane. I thought about this typical catastrophe, briefly, and wondered what insecurities those of the fair gender must have if they have to have their phone with them during that brief interlude that we all understand and welcome.

 

I consulted an eminent psychiatrist and the conclusion was that the female genus must always be in constant contact with everyone lest something happen somewhere in the universe that required their immediate attention and action, and more importantly, immediate comment and correction. It was further hypothesized that the women requiring the constant tactile contact with their device, might also suffer from extreme phonus partum distraction. This last symptom is closely related to the trauma suffered when someone (else) brings home the wrong brand of bread from the supermarket. It’s about control !!

In further discussions with this eminent psychiatrist, it was decided that attempting to correct the activity of the female gender, especially by a male,  would further exacerbate the traumatic effects. However, in this scenario, the trauma would be felt, of course, by the helpful male. It could be physical, verbal, or combinations thereof, any of which could result in hospitalization or even worse, the dog house. The psychiatrist, whose name and number will appear below, will be available for consultation by the traumatized female, and will provide the traumatized male with a kevlar vest and the name of a good attorney !

 

It is my sincere hope that no one gets lost for about 500+ years, only to be found under a parking lot. Such was the fate of King Richard III, the last Plantaganet king of England. You might remember his famous words ” a horse ! a horse ! My kingdom for a horse!” . He was identified partly because a “sword had cleaved away part of the rear of his skull. And other such niceties. This king was the last English king to die in battle – a good trivia fact – and he may not have been a very nice guy. The story was that he put his 12 year old nephew, King Edward V and his brother in the Tower of London on the grounds that the boys were illegitimate sons of Richard’s elder brother, Edward IV. From what little I’ve read about kings and such in the Middle Ages, finding a legitimate offspring of anyone, could have been a reason for celebration. But really, cleaving away part of the guys skull – damn, that would have hurt ! Probably killed the guy anyway. And Shakespeare didn’t like Richard either. But I wonder if he could have been that helpful male described previously.

There was no comment from Buckingham Palace on either the discovery of Richard III or on what you just read !

 

Pretty soon you’re going to see California license plates starting with a 7. Somehow, I figured out that it takes about five years to run through a set of licenses beginning with a number. For example, license plates beginning with the number six, first began in 2007 – 2008. I just observed this over the years, totally by accident. I think it may have started whenever I got a new car and new plates. Think about it. It does work out right. And I don’t think it makes a difference if we go through a recession, or if times are good. Cars keep selling. This only applies to the current series of plate numbers. I have no idea about the old California blue or black plates. But I do wonder what will happen after the 9’s are finished.

 

Did you know that you may have a vicious and prolific killer in your house? Domestic cats kill between 1.4 billion and 3.7 billion birds, and up to 20 billion (yes – with a B) small rodents each year. Get this– cats are “likely the single greatest source of anthropogenic mortality for U.S. birds and mammals.” , according to researchers at the Migratory Bird Center of the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute. Wow – that’s a mouthful of information !! Cats have caused or contributed to 33 of the modern bird, mammal, and reptile extinctions recorded by another research group whose name would take three lines to type ! I like dogs !!

 

Do you know what tennis elbow is? It’s best described as a boo boo that hurts if you move your elbow the wrong way. A bunch of doctors and researchers found that steroid injections helps for a few months, but after six months, those who did not have the injections, were at the same recovery point. So, thanks for doing the research and telling us that physical therapy is the best way to go. The missing part of the research is how to treat us tennis addicts for the withdrawal. Tequila?  Vodka?

 

For those who are interested, rates have started to climb. Forecasters are saying that the will continue to rise, and the others are saying that they won’t go up much more. If you’re thinking about buying, we should get together to get you approved for a loan. Call me 818.305.4695. If you’re thinking about refinancing, we should get together to talk about that process. 818.305.4695.  As for the economy – who knows??  The government says there were 1.6MM new jobs created last year. They are not saying that the population growth was about 3.2 MM. Whatever you think is happening, please give me a call today at818.305.4695 and we’ll help you with your numbers.

And, for a final note…

Have a better week !

Les

Berman’s Factoids of the Week:

More from The Washington Post yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
 

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 Les Berman CMC
Real Estate Loan Specialist
       
NMLS ID 227675
Voice: 818.305.4695

 

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February 9, 2013 - Posted by | general interest, real estate, whimsy | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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